Music

Music

Rick Daniel reminded me recently of the role that music plays in my life.  It seems like ever since high school music was never more than a foot-tap away.

I recall taking a music aptitude test in sixth or seventh grade.  “They” would play notes side by side and ask if the second note was higher or lower than the first note.  I didn’t have a clue what that meant.  Nonetheless, thanks to my good friends Richard Miller and Jerry Smith I found myself signed up for band.  The band director put us in a practice room and told us to come out and join the band when we felt we were ready.  That was pretty much the extent of my first and only music lesson on the cornet.  After a few weeks of practice we were feeling pretty sure of ourselves so we made the mistake of coming out of the practice room.  The first piece of music we attempted to play was the William Tell Overture.  I don’t recall if we finished before or after everyone else, but we headed back to the practice room.

Time passed and we eventually did make our way into the last seats of our respective sections.  Jerry played the tenor saxophone and Richard and I played cornets.  While Richard excelled I floundered.  I think that is why the band director switched me to French horn where I could focus on playing after-beats and not do anything else more complicated than that.  He also let me swing the baton around and conduct music once in a while.  I think both band directors we had in high school felt that they had to give me something that I could handle.

Rick Daniel, Jerry Smith, and Richard Miller and I formed a part of a Dixieland Band.  The other founding members were Mike Shaddy (clarinet), and Gary Bruce (baritone saxophone).  I understand that Mike has since passed away.  Rick played a wicked trombone.  Since there was nothing left to play I picked up some drumsticks and beat on an old drum (trap) set.  We called ourselves a couple of different names.  Because we all wore glasses except for Gary Bruce we first settled on The Four-eyed Five Plus Two.  Then Gary found a pair of cheap reading glasses or non-prescription glasses and wore them with the rest of us.  That’s when we called ourselves the Foresights.  I must admit that we were pretty good.  We played a few gigs that kept us feeling important and even got our picture in the local newspaper.  However, it was playing Dixieland music that got me to learn to love that style of music.  Al Hirt, Louis Satchmo  Armstrong, and Bent Fabric (yes, that’s what he called himself) became my musical heroes.  I remember feeling like I had died and gone to heaven when Richard and I met Louis Armstrong.  He had a gold mouthpiece for his trumpet and seriously calloused lips.

It wasn’t just Dixieland music that moved me.  Word got out at church that I could lead music and as a result I found myself frequently substituting for our church chorister.  Later in my adult life I was our congregation’s chorister and choir director.  The highlight of my church music career was to lead our congregation’s choir “at the Civic”.  (That would be our small community’s high school civic auditorium, but it was still “the Civic”.)  I am still called upon from time to time to fill in for a chorister.  While I enjoy swinging my arm around – directing music – I must admit that I find it embarrassing that I cannot sing and therefore find it very difficult to pick a starting note for singing when we lack a pianist or organist.

Rick reminded me of the music of the 60s and 70s.  Those were the days when you could understand the words to the popular music of the time.  Those were the days of the Beatles, Beach Boys, Dave Clark Five, The Kinks, The Byrds, Fleetwood Mac, Peter and Gordon, The Buckinghams, Gary Lewis and the Playboys, and the Detroit Sound (The Four Tops, Supremes, The Spinners, etc.). 

Speaking of the Detroit Sound, every music center had its own sound and you could tell if a song was recorded in Detroit or Memphis or Los Angeles or New York just by listening.  Then there was Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound.  I remember hearing that for the first time and thinking to myself that music had entered a whole new era.  Anyway, my friends and I could sing along with all of them, pretty much like kids can do today.  But, there was other music besides the rock ‘n roll.

There was this thing called folk music.  I’m not sure that it was so much folk music as it was ballads that were being played.  We’re talking about groups like the Kingston Trio, The New Christie Minstrels, Peter, Paul, and Mary.  We’re talking about Tom Dooley hanging his head down and Peter, Paul and Mary asking where all the flowers had gone.  Was it Puff the Magic Dragon that took the flowers?  I don’t think so.  Those were the days of the Hootenanny.  Those were the days when it was first acceptable to sit cross-legged on the grass and sway back and forth to the music and to sing along.  You see, there was this little war going on in Vietnam and there were a lot of protests against the war and much of the music of the time was anti-war music.  It was a perfect combination.  We were a bunch of idealistic and impressionable teenagers caught up in the music and lyrics of the day.  And yet, there we were – a bunch of young teenagers from middle class America in its heartland, one of the most conservative states in the Union at the time.

I’ve never strayed far from music.  I am not like some of my friends, like Clarice Snyder (aka Jane Engleman during those school days) who is over-the-top musically talented, but I do tap my toe when I hear a tune that I like or that brings back memories.  Sometimes I tap my toe when I’m the only one who can hear the music.  And I like just about all genre of music (opera excepted – well, light opera is acceptable). 

I was never really proficient at playing any musical instrument and I certainly have not done anything to improve that situation.  To my credit, I encourage my grandchildren to take an instrument in school and to stick with it.  All five of our children played in their high school band at least for a while.  And, I’ve been plucking on a guitar and ukulele, thanks to Roger Wickers from about 40 years ago and Holly Baxter most recently.  Roger, if you are reading this you will be pleased to learn that I have callouses on my fingertips.  I still am not any good on barre chords and I am beginning to learn how to get into an F-minor and B-flat.  Or is that a B7?  I don’t know, but I really like the sound it makes.  The rest of the B chords are beyond me. (Roger, FYI –  I’m trying to learn how to stretch my fingers apart.  It’s hard.)  Regardless, I’m getting to the point where I can play a handful of songs without looking at the fingers on my left hand.  Not bad for an old guy.  Susan mentioned a 12-string the other day.

Just to show you how warped I am and the influence music has had on my life let me share a simple example with you.  While teaching at the college every now and then a phrase would come out of my mouth that would be the same as a few words in a tune I heard years ago. With little or no notice to my students I would break out into song in class in spite of the fact that I cannot carry a tune in a…well, you know.  I loved the looks I got from befuddled students sitting in front of me, but what were they going to do?  They were a captive audience and had little recourse but to sit and take it.

We have Sirius XM Radio in one of our cars.  It is tuned in to 60s on 6.  I enjoy listening to Phlash Phelps and Cousin Bruce and Pat St. John.  (I can’t stand Peter Noone on the weekends.)  I enjoy traveling down the highway singing along with whoever is singing at the time.  When I’m in the pickup, which doesn’t have the XM radio, I have it tuned in to a 50s and 60s station.  Most of the time Susan is not with me in the pickup so it is not unusual for me to sing a touch louder.  The nice thing about it though is that when I pull up to a red light I see others either singing along to their radios or bobbing their heads in time with the music.  It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who has a thing about music.

Where was I going with all this?  Oh, yeah, I remember now.  Music.  It has been a part, a big part of my life since my early teen years.  I cannot imagine life without music today.  It reflects so much of life, so much of the feelings and experiences at different times in life. 

Karen and Richard Carpenter sang a song that describes what I’m talking about.

When I was young I'd listen to the radio
Waitin' for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along, it made me smile

Those were such happy times and not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well

Lookin' back on how it was in years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad, so much has changed.

It was songs of love that I would sing to then
And I'd memorize each word
Those old melodies still sound so good to me
As they melt the years away

Every sha-la-la-la
Every wo-o-wo-o, still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling, that they're startin' to sing's, so fine

When they get to the part
Where he's breakin' her heart
It can really make me cry, just like before
It's yesterday once more

Songwriters: JOHN BETTIS, RICHARD LYNN CARPENTER
© Universal Music Publishing Group

You see, there is music for every emotion, for every person, and for every event in life.  Whether it’s on the Eve of Destruction, or the Last Date, there’s a song for that.  If your sweetheart has Lost that Lovin’ Feeling or if you and your date fell asleep at the drive-in movie and you are in trouble deep, there is music go help you get through it.  Should it be the Little Old Lady from Pasadena or if you are Getting Around in your Little Deuce Coupe, you can rev up your engines to the beat of the west coast sound.  When you are trying to tell Michelle, Mary Lou, Peggy Sue, or Oh, Denise that you love her true, there are words and melodies to see you through.  When you experience those tender moments when you are in wonder of How Great God is (How Great Thou Art) or you want to send God’s blessings with a friend Till we Meet Again, someone felt inspired to put those feelings into words and music.  You can always Catch a Falling Star and Put it in your Pocket or Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling Rain to music.  If you are looking for an Octopus’s Garden or want to help Rocky Raccoon, you’ll find Lennon, McCartney, Harrison, and Starr (Starkey) to sing you through it.  If there is any doubt in your mind, I still Dig Rock ‘n Roll Music, but I still like Butterfly Kisses and I see Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain all the time.

Music still makes me want to say “What a Wonderful World”. 

Oh, yeah (or Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yea-a-a-a-a-h).

Why I Cannot Vote for Hillary Clinton for President

Not long ago a Facebook friend suggested that I explain why I would not vote for Hillary Clinton for President of the United States. I would like to take that challenge on now.

Before I begin I should explain the two-pronged test I use to determine who I rely upon to provide services to me.  Failure to meet either part of the test will disqualify a person, business, or candidate from consideration.  The two-pronged test is quite simple: Character and Competence.

A person who is competent but lacks character cannot be trusted to provide what is needed to deliver a required service. Though that person may do exceptional work, that person may deliver more than what you need, do shoddy work, or deliver a product or service that is sub-standard or pocket the reward.  This person cannot be trusted to give you an honest answer or honest work.

A person who can be trusted, who has good moral character may not necessarily be capable of delivering the needed service. However, this person will at least tell you if he or she can provide what is needed.

What I look for is a person who has good moral character (honest) AND who is capable. With that as a prelude, let me explain why I cannot support Hillary Clinton for President.

First of all, I dismiss much of the hyperbole we see floating around on social media and I find the reporting by the so-called network and cable "news" media inexcusable. The likes of CNN, FOX, ABC, MSNBC and so forth are no more interested in reporting facts than I am interested in attending a hula hoop exhibition. They merely take words and acts out of context and put their own spin on events and feed it to the public as fact.  Then there is the fringe element that puts forth various conspiracy theories, back their theories with faulty information and reasoning, and propose doomsday scenarios.  And now that we are in the post-convention phases of the campaigns with the candidates of the two major parties selected we will begin to see grainy, unflattering, and grotesque pictures of opposing candidates with even more non-contextual statements. It is only going to go downhill from here. Unfortunately, the print media is no better than the electronic media.  And, please don't get me started on celebrity endorsements.

However, there is an occasional silver lining to be found in the all-out mud fest. Every now and then honest journalism creeps through and the media let the candidates speak for themselves. I relish those opportunities. What I relish even more is firsthand information.

Before I can begin to evaluate proposed policy positions of the candidates I want to know if I can trust them. I apply the Martin Luther King "content of their character" litmus test to candidates. I am still working on Donald Trump, but I have already made up my mind on Clinton.

First, there is the Benghazi Event. Whether or not she stalled or stammered in addressing security concerns is not the issue.  Well, it is an issue as it deals with competence, but right now I am looking only at character. The issue with me is that she lied to the American public about what led up to the attack.

Secondly, there is the private email server. Whether or not she used a private email server or not is not the issue.  Well, again it is an issue as it deals with competence, but as I already said, right now I'm looking only at character. We all heard her testify before a Congressional committee that she did not send or receive email that was marked classified at the time. And whether or not a person in her position should recognize classified material even if it is not marked again is not the issue. (Well, it is as it goes to the competence test again, but I’m not going there right now.)  We all heard the FBI director say that documents marked as classified were found on her email server. The issue with me is that she lied to the American public.  We also heard her say that all her emails had been turned over for review. Now we recently learned that there have been another 13,000 - 15,000 discovered emails. She lied.

Third is her conduct behind closed doors. Let me preface this with a little background information.  In my law enforcement career I had the opportunity to be with several state and national political leaders. I've eaten meals with Congressman Manuel Lujan (R) and Senator Pete Domenici (R) (I always got personally signed Christmas cards from Pete). I knew Congressman/UN Ambassador Bill Richardson (D) before he was thrust onto the national and international stage.  I knew New Mexico Governor Bruce King (D), he knew me by name and he initiated personal correspondence to me.  I've walked and talked with foreign dignitaries and ambassadors.  (I also spent the better part of a day with President Bill Clinton, but that's another story.  Let’s just say that I washed my hands as quickly as I could after he left.)  Always, and I mean always what I saw in these politicians in private was the same demeanor, conduct, and language that I saw in public.

I am sorry to say that Hillary Clinton is a Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to her public persona and behind the scenes behavior. I have never seen such demeaning conduct toward aides as what she does to hers. I do not use the profanity by which she addresses her Secret Service detail. I have never seen a politician look down on others the way she looks down on others in private. I have known Secret Service agents assigned to work with her and they cannot wait to get away from her.  Her back room language is worse than that of a drunken sailor.  She is a coarse, profane, and abrasive prima donna.

And then there was the security assistance that my criminal justice students provided when she made a visit to our campus. It is traditional for a major politician to shake hands with the locals who provide service of one type or another during a visit. At the conclusion of her visit to our campus, the volunteers lined up ready to shake hands and exchange brief pleasantries. When she got to my students she looked down at their ID cards identifying them as Criminal Justice students, and said, "Humph. Criminal Justice students. I don't need you." She then walked past all my students and literally sneered at them.  Needless to say, I did not even get in line as I already knew where the meet and greet was going to go. I could not believe what I saw as students, once infatuated with her stood with their hands extended as she walked past them.  Do not ask me to tell you what she called them when my students were out of earshot.

Unlike many Americans I occasionally communicate with elected officials by mail. I have done so on a few occasions with then Senator Clinton. My brief requests for support of particular bills before the Senate were always rebuffed with multiple page responses telling me why my position was wrong. Obviously the responses were written by staffers and had been written well in advance of my letters. But summary dismissal of a constituent's position seemed so irresponsible.  Her responses were not even preceded with a “thank you for writing and sharing your view”.

So, there you have it. I applied the "content of character test" to Hillary Clinton and she failed. Even if her stated policies were perfect (if she had competence) for our nation I could not vote for her. I trust her as much as I trust a sunning rattlesnake.

I cannot in good conscience vote for Hillary Clinton.

(This does not mean that I will vote for Donald Trump.)

I Am Law Enforcement

Following the unprovoked assassinations of police officers recently, a friend asked me what police officers were thinking about these executions and to what they attributed these shootings.  Needless to say, a flood of emotions washed over me as I contemplated these questions.

The law enforcement community is a tight-knit family.  When a loss is experienced in a police department anywhere in the country, there is a ripple effect felt throughout the entire police community.  While the AP and UPI is quick at getting the information out, such losses are communicated almost immediately to police departments nationwide.  The communication system used to check the status of drivers, vehicle registrations, stolen property, and wanted persons is also available to police departments to spread the word concerning police shootings.

A police officer dies in the line of duty on an average of every 54 hours in the United States.  Many of these deaths are due to traffic accidents or other misfortunes.  (You can see a previous article I placed on my blog that outlines officer deaths by type of incident.)  But, when it comes to the execution of a police officer, it takes on a special kind of ugly.  Nothing unites the police community like the death of one of our own and nothing kindles more sorrow than an ambush assassination of a police officer.

Though I am no longer an active duty police officer, I am still a member of that community.  When one of my fellow officers dies in the line of duty I mourn with the rest of the police fraternity.  And though I am no longer an active duty police officer I maintain contact with officers who are currently employed in law enforcement.

To be perfectly candid, every police officer I know and most of those who are retired like me point a finger at the cultural climate that President Obama has created.  They see – we see – how quickly he condemns police for actions before they are even investigated and we see how slow he is to recognize the deaths of police.  Not only do we see how slowly he recognizes the death of police, but we also see how he politicizes those deaths to meet his own agenda.  His failure to bathe the White House in blue following the deaths of the Dallas officers yet turn on the Rainbow colors for the gay community and the French Red, White, and Blue following their terrorist attacks was a slap in the face.  We see the Comforter-in-Chief selectively comforting.  His appointment of two anti-police U. S. Attorneys General is further evidence of his disdain for police.

To be clear, there are indeed abuses by police and in some communities the appearance of these abuses toward minorities is pronounced.  This does not mean that all police are bad apples.  Most police officers are like me.  When one badge is tarnished, all our badges are tarnished.  But, that does not define who we are as a policing community.

So, how are police responding to the current climate?  Most police will continue to do their jobs regardless of what target is plastered on their backs.  Some police will slow their service down and even refuse to enter some neighborhoods.  I know current police officers who are now considering the minimum service amount for retirement.  They have had it.  They have had enough, not just because of the potential threat that is out there against them, but because of the political climate that has been allowed to fester and grow.  Many police are going to look the other way at minor offenses even though we know from experience that enforcement of minor violations is a key to preventing serious crime.  More police will carry off-duty weapons while actively concealing their identity as police officers.  Spouses and children of officers will hold their breath each time their police officer goes to work.  There will be arguments about whether or not the police office spouse should find other employment.  Officers are going to be a little more cautious and edgy at the same time.  Some will react too slowly and err on the side of caution while others will overreact and err on the side of personal safety.  Expect more police officers to shoot first and ask questions later and expect more police officers to wait too long and end up getting killed as a result.

Meanwhile, expect an exodus of well-trained, seasoned police officers from the job.  Others, both green and inexperienced or those, whose idea of policing is fed by television, movies, and video games, will fill those vacancies.  Is that what you really want?

So, you want to know what police officers were thinking about these executions and to what they attributed these shootings?  There you have it in a very oversimplified nutshell.

Be Someone

As I sat reading a series of articles in a magazine it occurred to me that I knew some of the people who were mentioned in those articles.  Other names I recognized simply because I knew of them and have known of them for many years.  It occurred to me that I’ve seen other names in books, magazines, and other media that I have recognized over the years.  So many of the people I either know or know of have contributed in some way to society in one way or another, either in a general way or to specific individuals.  Then of course there are the countless others who have contributed whose names I do not know – names of people that most of us will never know because their names do not appear in the headlines of the news.  They are not honored for their achievements in a public forum.  For that matter, many don’t even receive a thank you note for their contributions, yet their contributions are valuable and in some cases may even be life sustaining.
Some people thrive on attention.  They enjoy the limelight regardless of their contributions.  There are those who contribute so that they may be recognized while there are others who contribute in spite of the recognition.  Meanwhile, there are those who do not contribute.  They sit on the sidelines and watch as the world goes by.  Some don’t care.  Some say to themselves that they could have done the same thing that others had done.  Some don’t know.  Some don’t know how.  Some don’t want the recognition; they prefer to not draw attention to themselves so they shy away from doing something of value to others.

When I read those names in the magazine it occurred to me that everyone should be someone. 

I believe that being someone is different that being who you are or what you are.  Who you are is determined by reading a birth certificate.  It is also determined by realizing  your eternal lineage.  What  you are is determined by what you do.  We most frequently attach titles to names to identify what you are.  You are a dentist, doctor, lawyer, refuse collector, electrician, teacher, preacher, basketball coach, scout leader, lineman, engineer, botanist, actor, singer, comedian, nurse, CEO, custodian, sales person, flight attendant, soldier, marine, sailor, editor, writer, service technician, chemist, and on and on.  All those and many, many other titles determine what you are.  And, it is quite possible to have more than one title.  The engineer by day may be the scout master on Tuesday nights, an Army Reservist one weekend a month, and a baseball coach three evenings a week.  That same person may also be a mom or a dad 24/7.  (One could easily argue that the title of mom or dad might also spill over into the “who you are” column.

But, what does it mean to be someone?

I believe that is a valid question.  Of course I believe it is a valid question.  I just penned it!  But, what does it mean to be someone?  Just because you are an orthopedic surgeon it doesn’t mean that you are someone.  The paperboy could be someone while the surgeon is, well, is no one.  But, how can that be?

Easy.

To be someone requires you to make a difference.  It requires you to make a difference in somebody else’s life.  It does not require press coverage.  It does not merit recognition in the newspaper nor does it merit the awarding of a medal or a pin or a certificate a letter or even a thank you note.  It requires you to do something in your sphere of life, in your circle of influence.  It requires you to do the right things for the right reasons, certainly not because you want the recognition, though admittedly it is nice to get the pat on the back once in a while.  But even if the pat on the back does not arrive, it still requires doing the right thing for the right reason.  It requires giving your best.  In fact, it requires giving more than your best.  It does not necessarily require giving everything.  But it does require giving your best.  It requires recognizing that you are not the only one on the planet, that you share breathing space with others.  It also requires recognizing others for their part in this thing we call life, even if you do not get the recognition that you probably deserve.

What sorts of things am I talking about?  Let me share some examples.
Being someone requires you to take the time to stoop down to a child’s level once in a while to speak to that child, to give that child encouragement or to congratulate the child for doing a great job.  Being someone requires you to speak kindly to the cashier who is having a really rough day.  Being someone requires you to be “that guy” who waited patiently on the receptionist who had a difficult time getting a new printer to print out your receipt, all the while explaining that you understand the person’s plight because you’ve been there, too.  Being someone requires you to let the driver of the car on adjacent street or parking lot exit to pull out in front of you.  Being someone defers conversation to others who want to speak, though you really want to speak as well.  Being someone requires you to reserve judgment.  In essence, being someone requires kindness, benevolence, honesty, integrity, virtuous, and so forth.

Are these the only ways you can be someone?  Well, no, there are other ways of being someone if you really want to be that person.  You can be rude and intolerant.  You can always have a negative thought to share.  You can be the person who always has to be right.  You can be the person who must always have the final say or be the owner of the way things are done.  You can be the know-it-all.  The person who fits that description is someone as well.  I’m just not sure that most of us want to be that person, though I know people who enjoy (or at least seem to enjoy) being that someone.

But the point of this is that everybody needs to be someone.  There are too many people hiding in the woodwork.  There are too many people not taking a stand, either by word or deed.  Too few people speak out, and when that happens the loud mouths draw all the attention, which might just lead the rest of us down crooked paths.  Too few people stand up and step forward.  There are too many people pulling out their camera phones to record what is happening rather than stepping in to make things happen.  Too many people are acquiring celebrity status for recording an injustice instead of rectifying an injustice.  Too many people are satisfied with being that someone who virtually did nothing instead of the someone who took action.

It is time for people, for you, to step out of your safe little shell and be someone; not just any someone but to be the someone who makes a difference in the lives of others.

Be Someone!

There's a Pill for That

There's a Pill for That

Drug Advertising

It has gotten to the point that a person needs to have some sort of medical degree when watching television advertisements.  Perhaps it is just my age that is showing, but it seems like television advertising these days is aimed at healing whatever it is that we are suffering from or creating new ailments that require the administration of a new drug that some pharmaceutical company has stumbled upon.

I have been keeping track for the last several days of all the ailments that are floating around out there.  Most have been reduced to alphabet soup.  Likewise, a few of the treatments follow the Campbell’s Soup pattern.  I’m not sure, but I think the practice of reducing illnesses to soup began with Tuberculosis (TB), Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and Muscular Dystrophy (MD).  I’m fairly sure that MD and MS were the kingpins of lettered diseases until ADD and later ADHD became popular.  I blame ADD and ADHD for opening the floodgates.

Consider the following medical conditions that I’ve seen on television in the last few weeks:  OIC, COPD, IBS, IBS-C, IBS-D, RA, OB, ED, PTSD, PML, BED, ALS, DVT, PE, TBI, CC, UC, ALTE, CTE, OAB (I’m not sure, but I think it is the same thing as OB, but I really thought an OB was some kind of doctor), UTI (I learned about UTI’s several years ago), AMD, and BPH. 

I recently learned of two new ones just today.  IED is “Intermittent Explosive Disorder” and SID or SAD (SIAD), which is a condition for women (thank goodness) and is short for “Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder”.  I am especially interested in IED, which is not to be confused with the IED we have all come to hate in the ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  But hey, they could be related!  I go off without warning when somebody cuts me off in traffic, which meets the medical IED definition and the military definition of an Improvised Explosive Device.  Hmmm.  I guess I must be and IED or have IED.  It doesn’t much matter because there is now a pill for that.  My guess is that most everybody reading this is in need of that pill.

The alphabet game is not just about letters as sometimes those letters are combined with words, partial words, and numbers.  The alphanumeric medical condition that caught my attention is Non-24, while there is a device out there that is called an IVC Filter.  I’m not sure, but I don’t think I want to know what an IVC Filter is.

It isn’t just about the alphabet, though I think there are certain letters that have been seriously underrepresented in the above list.  I mean, I don’t see anything with a Q or W or F or Z or a few other missing letters.  There are contrived words such as Ace Inhibitors and Beta Blockers and methotrexate.  I can at least pronounce those words.  There are other medication names that require your tongue to be a contortionist.  For example, there is a whole list of NSAIDS (Oh, there’s another example of what I’m talking about.  I think this one was created specifically to be an acronym.)  Anyway, consider this list of NSAIDS and see exactly how many of them you can pronounce without slowing down to sound out each syllable.

Aspirin (acetylsalicylic acid), Celecoxib (Celebrex), Dexdetoprofen (Keral), Diclofenac (Voltaren, Cataflam, Voltaren-XR), Diflunisal (Dolobid). Etodolac (Lodine, Lodine XL), Etoricoxib (Algix), Fenoprofen (Fenopron, Nalfron), Firocoxib (Equioxx, Previcox), Flurbiprofen (Urbifen, Ansaid, Flurwood, Froben), Ibuprofen (Advil, Brufen, Motrin, Nurofen, Medipren, Nuprin), Indomethacin (Indocin, Indocin SR, Indocin IV), Ketoprofen (Actron, Orudis, Oruvail, Ketoflam), Ketorolac (Toradol, Sprix, Toradol IV/IM, Toradol IM), Licofelone (under development), Lornoxicam (Xefo), Loxoprofen (Loxonin, Loxomac, Oxeno), Lumiracoxib (Prexige), Meclofenamic acid (Meclomen), Mefenamic acid (Ponstel), Meloxicam (Movalis, Melox, Recoxa, Mobic), Nabumetone (Relafen), Naproxen (Aleve, Anaprox, Midol Extended Relief, Naprosyn, Naprelan), Nimesulide (Sulide, Nimalox, Mesulid), Oxaporozin (Daypro, Dayrun, Duraprox), Parecoxib (Dynastat), Piroxicam (Feldene), Rofecoxib (Vioxx, Ceoxx, Ceeoxx), Salsalate (Mono-Gesic, Salflex, Disalcid, Salsitab), Sulindac (Clinoril), Tenoxicam (Mobiflex), Tolfenamic acid (Clotam Rapid, Tufnil), Valdecoxib (Bextra)

(http://www.nsaids-list.com/)

What I find interesting is some of the ingredients in these drugs that the pharmaceutical companies are pushing.  I swear, one company tells us that they put Ford Motor Oil in their drug.  I suppose they want to keep you well lubricated. 

Then of course there are the warnings that accompany the drug advertisements.  There are the written drug warnings that require an IMAX screen for you to be able to read them.  These require a medical dictionary to help you understand what you are reading.  The other drug warnings are spoken and take up so much time in spelling out the possible side effects that by the time they have finished telling what you might contract if  you take their drug that you have forgotten what the drug is or what it is for, like an inhaled corticosteroid (repeated several times throughout the advertisement).  Take for example the warnings that accompany the use of Ford Motor Oil.  (In case you are wondering, Ford Motor Oil is a long-acting beta-agonist.  It is “rarely” associated with an increased risk of asthma-related death.)  You should not use Ford Motor Oil if you are allergic to any ingredient in formoterol if

• you are using another medicine that has a long-acting beta-agonist (eg, salmeterol) in it
• you are having an asthma attack or sudden symptoms of COPD (eg, chest tightness, cough, shortness of breath, wheezing)
• you have asthma and you are not currently using a long-term asthma-control medicine (eg, inhaled corticosteroids)
• you have asthma that is already well controlled with the use of a long-term asthma-control medicine

• if you are pregnant, planning to become pregnant, or are breast-feeding
• if you are taking any prescription or nonprescription medicine, herbal preparation, or dietary supplement
• if you have allergies to medicines, foods, or other substances
• if you have had a severe allergic reaction to milk protein or are lactose intolerant
• if you have a history of diabetes, heart problems (eg, fast or irregular heartbeat), blood vessel problems, high blood pressure, low blood potassium levels, an adrenal gland tumor (pheochromocytoma), seizures, or thyroid problems
• if you have recently been to the emergency room for asthma, have a history of frequent hospitalizations for asthma, or have ever had a life-threatening asthma attack
• if you have had an unusual reaction to a sympathomimetic medicine (eg, albuterol, pseudoephedrine), such as fast or irregular heartbeat, overexcitement, or severe trouble sleeping
• if you are taking linezolid, a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) [Oops! There’s another one.] (eg, phenelzine), or a tricyclic antidepressant (eg, amitriptyline) or you have taken any of these medicines within the last 14 days
• if you are taking any medicine that may increase the risk of a certain type of irregular heartbeat (prolonged QT interval). Check with your doctor or pharmacist if you are unsure if any of your medicines may increase the risk of this type of irregular heartbeat.

(http://www.drugs.com/cdi/formoterol.html)

Really?  I mean, who comes up with this stuff?

The point is that the warnings have gotten completely out of control and have probably been included by pharmaceutical company attorneys to keep law suits to a minimum.  I wish the industry would come to agreement on a standard warning and disclaimer.  If I wrote such a warning it would look like this.

Don’t take this drug.

I suspect that warning would never fly with the pharmaceutical companies.  Therefore a more acceptable warning might look something like this.

You should not use this drug if you are pregnant, plan to become pregnant, ever have been pregnant, know somebody who is, has been, or will become pregnant.  Do not use this drug with alcohol or any illicit drug and if you are taking another prescription drug talk to your doctor before, during, and after taking each dose.  This drug may cause you to sleep, sleepwalk, sleep talk, stay awake, talk in tongues, hallucinate, radiate, irritate, and ingratiate.  Do not drive, operate machinery, sit at a desk, write memos, or engage in any type of negotiations with foreign diplomats while using this drug.  Should you have an erection lasting more than four hours the manufacturer of this medication feels sorry for you, but you really should see a doctor as soon as possible.  Discontinue use of an inhaled corticosteroid while using this drug until your condition has stabilized.  Your doctor will then prescribe an inhaled corticosteroid for daily use.  You may feel irritated and agitated while taking this medication.  In that case those around you also will feel irritated and agitated with you.  Serious side effects may accompany the use of this drug such as depression, thoughts of suicide, or hang-gliding.  Do not discontinue using this drug without first consulting with your doctor, healthcare provider, your pharmacist, spouse, significant other, your insurance company, and the President of the United States.  If you should pass out, faint, or die as a result of using this drug, contact your physician immediately.

What?  If you should die while using this drug you are to contact your physician immediately?  You are kidding me, right?  Well, no, I’m not.  That wording is actually included in a drug advertisement warning.  And, I think I can understand why.  I mean, if you die from using a prescribed medication and you are alive (again) your doctor is going to want to know about it so he or she can pay off all that medical school debt.  I would think that it would make for a strong defense at trial when the patient decides to sue the doctor.  It would go something like this: “It’s ALIVE!!”

So, with all these disorders and diseases out there I’ve decided to come up with a few of my own.  See if you can figure out what they are.  Note: I’ve placed the full definitions of each disorder at the bottom of this tirade. 

·         FSOPD

·         RLOD

·         TTDS

·         SRAOC

·         SIM

·         WRD

·         PVTC

·         SIID

·         TTSS

·         CTS

·         NELMEMM (Nel-mem)

·         LWAC

·         VD (It isn’t what you think)

·         CAS

·         DEPOS

·         TPIARC (Tippy Arc)

·         STAMM

·         SMA

·         ITIFADS (It I Fads)

·         CSD

I invite you to see how many of these you get correct.  I also invite you to see if you might have any of these maladies.

I suppose there are multiple reasons for all these diseases, disorders, and syndromes that we see being advertised.  You can probably come up with a few that I haven’t thought of.  If so, you are welcome to comment either here or on Facebook.  Here are some of the reasons that I’ve come up with.

1.      We have an aging Baby Boomer population and we (I’m one of them) are a lucrative target.  We aren’t working any longer so the assumption is that we are watching more television than we used to.  As we age we are feeling more of the effects of aging.  That being the case, the pharmaceutical companies are anxious to tell us that there is a pill for that.

2.      Pressure has been placed on researchers and pharmaceutical companies to come up with cures or treatments for conditions that have long plagued us.  That takes lots of money.  Researchers and pharmaceutical companies want to recover the costs of that research and investors want to see a return on their investments.

3.      Closely related to Number 2 is the pressure that has been placed on companies to come up with treatments and cures for lesser-known ailments.  There are marches and protests and 5K and 10K runs to raise money and awareness.  While it is benevolent to come up with these treatments and cures, doing so is also politically correct.  Simply showing the world that these medications exist also shows that the company that came up with the medication is a responsible, caring (money-grabbing) corporation.  It’s all about the PR, folks.

4.      Many of the medications target children and young adults.  Advertising medications that target disorders that this population has, serves as a signal to them (and their parents) that they can have perfect bodies.

5.      It keeps advertising agencies, lawyers, pharmaceutical companies, the television industry, congressmen and senators, lobbyists, doctors, pharmacists, insurance companies, business benefits managers (generally found in human resource departments), wholesalers, retailers, and delivery boys all in business.

And about that list of disorders, diseases, syndromes, conditions, etc., that I mentioned above?  Here’s the full definition of each.  How many did you correctly identify?

FSOPD - Facebook Status Over-Posting Disorder

RLOD - Really Liking Obama Disease

TTDS - Tired of Tolerating Democrats Syndrome

SRAOC - Sick of Republicans Attacking Obama Condition

SIM - Self-Identification Malfunction

WRD - Wrong Restroom Disorder

PVTC - Proper Vote for Trump Condition

SSID - Still in Iraq Disorder

TTSS - Tied to Smartphone Sickness

CTS - Constantly Texting Syndrome

NELMEMM - Nobody Else’s Life Matters Except Mine Malady

LWAC - Late to Work Again Condition

VD - Vegetarian Disorder

CAS - Coffee Addiction Syndrome

DEPOS - Donut-Eating Police Officer Syndrome

TPIARC - The Professor is Always Right Condition

STAMM - Sleep Through Another Meeting Malady

SMA - Social Media Addiction

ITIFADS - I’m a Teenager and Immune from Accidental Death Syndrome

CSD - Common Sense Deficiency

I don’t think there is a pill for any of the above.  Do you suffer from any of these conditions?

I Want a "Do Over"

On occasion when playing a game with my children when they were much younger one would make a costly mistake and ask for a “do over” so as to take back the mistake and have a fresh start.  I suppose it is one of those rewards you get from being young and inexperienced.  Hindsight is such a good teacher.  I’m not sure that we do our children any favors when we let them have a “do over”, but on the other hand I understand that forgiveness is all about having a “do over” with the benefit of hindsight.

I suppose we all wish that we could have a do over now and then.  I’m wishing I could have one of those.  I could probably use a lot of do overs, but there is one fresh in my mind, and I really wish I could take back the thing that I did.

Susan and I were taking our morning walk when we approached a young mother with two small children.  One child was a baby in a stroller and the other was a toddler.  The toddler was having a meltdown and throwing a tantrum.  The mother was trying to deal with it the best she could.  The toddler didn’t want to walk the rest of the way to their car.  Meanwhile, the mother was not only pushing the stroller but carrying the small foot-propelled four-wheel conveyance with a seat and handle bars.  I have never seen one of those things before.  It was an odd looking contraption (a walker of some sort), but the jest of it was the child could sit on it and move himself forward by walking the cart forward.  The conversation went something like this.

Child: I don’t want to walk.

Mother: (Putting the walker down on the path while holding onto the stroller) Then use this.

Child: I don’t want to.

Mother: (Picking up the walker) Then walk.

Child: (Now sitting down and screaming at the top of his lungs) I don’t want to walk.

And so went the conversation or argument and tantrum.

The young mother was clearly frustrated and embarrassed.  She was caught in a public place dealing with an unruly child over which she had no control (who was badly in need of a swat on the rear).  I suspect that by the time she finally got inside her car she had to be in tears.

As we approached the young mother I wanted so much to do something.  In this day you don’t trust strangers who approach and offer to help.  Offering to pick up her child might signal “stranger danger”.  Or, if it didn’t send off alarms offering to help in some way could send the signal that this old man (me) think she’s a failure as a mother.

Instead of doing something or offering kind words of support I said, “You aren’t going to win this one,” as we passed her.  I kept thinking to myself that Susan and I (Susan more so than me) have dealt with temper tantrums and suffered our own meltdowns while raising five children.  We survived the temper tantrums and our children survived the meltdowns.  We did not kill any of our children!  They are alive.  And this young mother will also survive.  Whether or not she has any more children than the two she already has may be up for debate.

Oh, how I wish I had not said what I said to her.  How insensitive could I have been?  In an effort to add levity to a hapless situation I probably made things worse for the young mother.  I want a “do over” so I could relive that moment with that young mother.  At the very least I would assure her that she is a good mother and that it is O.K. and that she is O.K. and that every parent walking that path on that morning has experienced the exact same situation.  I would at the very least give her hope.  I would ask if I could at least carry the little walker.  I’d let her hold onto my billfold with my driver’s license in it and offer to carry her child.

I am so sorry.  I feel terrible and I want a “do over”.

Keeping the Presidential Campaign Civil

I thought the last presidential election campaign was brutal. I sense that this time around the campaigns will be even worse. I believe this election campaign will be a metaphorical blood bath. I want no part of it.

I recall last time all the hurtful, mean-spirited things that were said about both Obama and Romney. Most of you know that I supported Mitt Romney for President. I was appalled at the viscous attacks made against him. I could feel my blood pressure quickly rise as some of my friends on Facebook said Romney belonged in prison and that he was racist, a flip-flopper, and much, much worse.  And while I made negative comments about Obama, most of those comments were in the form of "sharing" anti-Obama memes or "liking" negative comments. I know that my comments were as hurtful to Obama supporters as those supporters' comments were to me of Romney.

It doesn't have to be that way.

I have tried in recent months to not respond to Obama and Clinton supporters’ attacks against Republican candidates, and most recently Donald Trump. I have tried to not write on other friends’ timelines responses to their attacks on Trump and I have tried hard to not write on friends' timelines responses to their support of what they see as virtues of Clinton and Obama.  I've taken the time to search my comments history. I am sorry to say that I have made so many comments in the past years that I did not search as far back as I would like to search. But, from what I was able to search I found that I was true to that effort. I am not saying that it isn't there; I'm just saying that I didn't discover any such comments as far back as I searched.

I suppose what bothers me most is the slanderous hyperbole and rhetoric that was flung around with no concern for the truth. I think what bothers me as well is the non-contextual quotes that make a person look bad. I am especially sensitive to that having been misquoted or quoted out of context by print and broadcast journalists myself.  I think what also concerns me is that we tend to jump to incorrect conclusions based upon one side of a story and without vetting all the facts.

With all this in mind, I am going to attempt something during this presidential election season. I want to make a commitment to it.  I really do.  I just fear that I can't because I, too, get emotionally caught up in the race. But, you can help.  Here is what I am going to attempt to do.

1. Unless you specifically ask me to comment on your support on your timeline for Ms. Clinton and her running mate, I am not going to respond to any accolade you may give her and/or her running mate.
2. I am not going to respond to negative attacks against Donald Trump or a third party candidate that I may support at some future time on your timeline.
3. I am not going to respond to positive memes about Ms. Clinton on your timeline (if you are a Clinton supporter) and (this one is especially difficult) I am not going to respond to negative attacks on your timeline memes against Trump or any candidate I support.
4. I will most likely make supportive comments for Donald Trump or other candidates on my own timeline. Any attack on any candidate I support on my timeline will be deleted. If you are one of my friends who disagrees with my position or comments I make for the candidate of my choice, you are welcome to say that you disagree on your own timeline.  If you have rebuttal comments to make, make them on your own timeline.  I will try and return the courtesy.
5. I reserve the right to "like" comments and memes supportive of candidates that I support.
6. I reserve the right to "like" comments and memes that paint opposing candidates, platforms, etc., in a negative light.
7. I will carefully consider reposting/sharing negative memes or comments about candidates that I cannot support before deciding whether or not to repost or share them; however, I am more interested in factual information rather than rhetoric and hype.  However, I want to make it perfectly clear that I hold Ms. Clinton responsible for the debacle in Benghazi and I believe that her private email server at least violated the spirit of the law if not the law itself.  Further, her claim that she didn’t share classified information on her private server is ludicrous.  If she wasn’t smart enough to know that something should have been classified information when it appeared on her server she isn’t smart enough to be president.
8. I reserve the right to "hide" negative comments or memes about candidates that I support.
9. I will value all factual information about any candidate, whether I support or oppose the candidate.
10. I invite and value civil discourse on the candidates on any person's timeline when conducted in a respectful manner. Name calling is not civil discourse nor is it respectful.

I am going to try. It will be difficult but it will be easier if you will try this approach with me.  I invite you to "LIKE" these comments if you are willing to TRY to do the same.