There's a Pill for That

There's a Pill for That

Drug Advertising

It has gotten to the point that a person needs to have some sort of medical degree when watching television advertisements.  Perhaps it is just my age that is showing, but it seems like television advertising these days is aimed at healing whatever it is that we are suffering from or creating new ailments that require the administration of a new drug that some pharmaceutical company has stumbled upon.

I have been keeping track for the last several days of all the ailments that are floating around out there.  Most have been reduced to alphabet soup.  Likewise, a few of the treatments follow the Campbell’s Soup pattern.  I’m not sure, but I think the practice of reducing illnesses to soup began with Tuberculosis (TB), Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and Muscular Dystrophy (MD).  I’m fairly sure that MD and MS were the kingpins of lettered diseases until ADD and later ADHD became popular.  I blame ADD and ADHD for opening the floodgates.

Consider the following medical conditions that I’ve seen on television in the last few weeks:  OIC, COPD, IBS, IBS-C, IBS-D, RA, OB, ED, PTSD, PML, BED, ALS, DVT, PE, TBI, CC, UC, ALTE, CTE, OAB (I’m not sure, but I think it is the same thing as OB, but I really thought an OB was some kind of doctor), UTI (I learned about UTI’s several years ago), AMD, and BPH. 

I recently learned of two new ones just today.  IED is “Intermittent Explosive Disorder” and SID or SAD (SIAD), which is a condition for women (thank goodness) and is short for “Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder”.  I am especially interested in IED, which is not to be confused with the IED we have all come to hate in the ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  But hey, they could be related!  I go off without warning when somebody cuts me off in traffic, which meets the medical IED definition and the military definition of an Improvised Explosive Device.  Hmmm.  I guess I must be and IED or have IED.  It doesn’t much matter because there is now a pill for that.  My guess is that most everybody reading this is in need of that pill.

The alphabet game is not just about letters as sometimes those letters are combined with words, partial words, and numbers.  The alphanumeric medical condition that caught my attention is Non-24, while there is a device out there that is called an IVC Filter.  I’m not sure, but I don’t think I want to know what an IVC Filter is.

It isn’t just about the alphabet, though I think there are certain letters that have been seriously underrepresented in the above list.  I mean, I don’t see anything with a Q or W or F or Z or a few other missing letters.  There are contrived words such as Ace Inhibitors and Beta Blockers and methotrexate.  I can at least pronounce those words.  There are other medication names that require your tongue to be a contortionist.  For example, there is a whole list of NSAIDS (Oh, there’s another example of what I’m talking about.  I think this one was created specifically to be an acronym.)  Anyway, consider this list of NSAIDS and see exactly how many of them you can pronounce without slowing down to sound out each syllable.

Aspirin (acetylsalicylic acid), Celecoxib (Celebrex), Dexdetoprofen (Keral), Diclofenac (Voltaren, Cataflam, Voltaren-XR), Diflunisal (Dolobid). Etodolac (Lodine, Lodine XL), Etoricoxib (Algix), Fenoprofen (Fenopron, Nalfron), Firocoxib (Equioxx, Previcox), Flurbiprofen (Urbifen, Ansaid, Flurwood, Froben), Ibuprofen (Advil, Brufen, Motrin, Nurofen, Medipren, Nuprin), Indomethacin (Indocin, Indocin SR, Indocin IV), Ketoprofen (Actron, Orudis, Oruvail, Ketoflam), Ketorolac (Toradol, Sprix, Toradol IV/IM, Toradol IM), Licofelone (under development), Lornoxicam (Xefo), Loxoprofen (Loxonin, Loxomac, Oxeno), Lumiracoxib (Prexige), Meclofenamic acid (Meclomen), Mefenamic acid (Ponstel), Meloxicam (Movalis, Melox, Recoxa, Mobic), Nabumetone (Relafen), Naproxen (Aleve, Anaprox, Midol Extended Relief, Naprosyn, Naprelan), Nimesulide (Sulide, Nimalox, Mesulid), Oxaporozin (Daypro, Dayrun, Duraprox), Parecoxib (Dynastat), Piroxicam (Feldene), Rofecoxib (Vioxx, Ceoxx, Ceeoxx), Salsalate (Mono-Gesic, Salflex, Disalcid, Salsitab), Sulindac (Clinoril), Tenoxicam (Mobiflex), Tolfenamic acid (Clotam Rapid, Tufnil), Valdecoxib (Bextra)

(http://www.nsaids-list.com/)

What I find interesting is some of the ingredients in these drugs that the pharmaceutical companies are pushing.  I swear, one company tells us that they put Ford Motor Oil in their drug.  I suppose they want to keep you well lubricated. 

Then of course there are the warnings that accompany the drug advertisements.  There are the written drug warnings that require an IMAX screen for you to be able to read them.  These require a medical dictionary to help you understand what you are reading.  The other drug warnings are spoken and take up so much time in spelling out the possible side effects that by the time they have finished telling what you might contract if  you take their drug that you have forgotten what the drug is or what it is for, like an inhaled corticosteroid (repeated several times throughout the advertisement).  Take for example the warnings that accompany the use of Ford Motor Oil.  (In case you are wondering, Ford Motor Oil is a long-acting beta-agonist.  It is “rarely” associated with an increased risk of asthma-related death.)  You should not use Ford Motor Oil if you are allergic to any ingredient in formoterol if

• you are using another medicine that has a long-acting beta-agonist (eg, salmeterol) in it
• you are having an asthma attack or sudden symptoms of COPD (eg, chest tightness, cough, shortness of breath, wheezing)
• you have asthma and you are not currently using a long-term asthma-control medicine (eg, inhaled corticosteroids)
• you have asthma that is already well controlled with the use of a long-term asthma-control medicine

• if you are pregnant, planning to become pregnant, or are breast-feeding
• if you are taking any prescription or nonprescription medicine, herbal preparation, or dietary supplement
• if you have allergies to medicines, foods, or other substances
• if you have had a severe allergic reaction to milk protein or are lactose intolerant
• if you have a history of diabetes, heart problems (eg, fast or irregular heartbeat), blood vessel problems, high blood pressure, low blood potassium levels, an adrenal gland tumor (pheochromocytoma), seizures, or thyroid problems
• if you have recently been to the emergency room for asthma, have a history of frequent hospitalizations for asthma, or have ever had a life-threatening asthma attack
• if you have had an unusual reaction to a sympathomimetic medicine (eg, albuterol, pseudoephedrine), such as fast or irregular heartbeat, overexcitement, or severe trouble sleeping
• if you are taking linezolid, a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) [Oops! There’s another one.] (eg, phenelzine), or a tricyclic antidepressant (eg, amitriptyline) or you have taken any of these medicines within the last 14 days
• if you are taking any medicine that may increase the risk of a certain type of irregular heartbeat (prolonged QT interval). Check with your doctor or pharmacist if you are unsure if any of your medicines may increase the risk of this type of irregular heartbeat.

(http://www.drugs.com/cdi/formoterol.html)

Really?  I mean, who comes up with this stuff?

The point is that the warnings have gotten completely out of control and have probably been included by pharmaceutical company attorneys to keep law suits to a minimum.  I wish the industry would come to agreement on a standard warning and disclaimer.  If I wrote such a warning it would look like this.

Don’t take this drug.

I suspect that warning would never fly with the pharmaceutical companies.  Therefore a more acceptable warning might look something like this.

You should not use this drug if you are pregnant, plan to become pregnant, ever have been pregnant, know somebody who is, has been, or will become pregnant.  Do not use this drug with alcohol or any illicit drug and if you are taking another prescription drug talk to your doctor before, during, and after taking each dose.  This drug may cause you to sleep, sleepwalk, sleep talk, stay awake, talk in tongues, hallucinate, radiate, irritate, and ingratiate.  Do not drive, operate machinery, sit at a desk, write memos, or engage in any type of negotiations with foreign diplomats while using this drug.  Should you have an erection lasting more than four hours the manufacturer of this medication feels sorry for you, but you really should see a doctor as soon as possible.  Discontinue use of an inhaled corticosteroid while using this drug until your condition has stabilized.  Your doctor will then prescribe an inhaled corticosteroid for daily use.  You may feel irritated and agitated while taking this medication.  In that case those around you also will feel irritated and agitated with you.  Serious side effects may accompany the use of this drug such as depression, thoughts of suicide, or hang-gliding.  Do not discontinue using this drug without first consulting with your doctor, healthcare provider, your pharmacist, spouse, significant other, your insurance company, and the President of the United States.  If you should pass out, faint, or die as a result of using this drug, contact your physician immediately.

What?  If you should die while using this drug you are to contact your physician immediately?  You are kidding me, right?  Well, no, I’m not.  That wording is actually included in a drug advertisement warning.  And, I think I can understand why.  I mean, if you die from using a prescribed medication and you are alive (again) your doctor is going to want to know about it so he or she can pay off all that medical school debt.  I would think that it would make for a strong defense at trial when the patient decides to sue the doctor.  It would go something like this: “It’s ALIVE!!”

So, with all these disorders and diseases out there I’ve decided to come up with a few of my own.  See if you can figure out what they are.  Note: I’ve placed the full definitions of each disorder at the bottom of this tirade. 

·         FSOPD

·         RLOD

·         TTDS

·         SRAOC

·         SIM

·         WRD

·         PVTC

·         SIID

·         TTSS

·         CTS

·         NELMEMM (Nel-mem)

·         LWAC

·         VD (It isn’t what you think)

·         CAS

·         DEPOS

·         TPIARC (Tippy Arc)

·         STAMM

·         SMA

·         ITIFADS (It I Fads)

·         CSD

I invite you to see how many of these you get correct.  I also invite you to see if you might have any of these maladies.

I suppose there are multiple reasons for all these diseases, disorders, and syndromes that we see being advertised.  You can probably come up with a few that I haven’t thought of.  If so, you are welcome to comment either here or on Facebook.  Here are some of the reasons that I’ve come up with.

1.      We have an aging Baby Boomer population and we (I’m one of them) are a lucrative target.  We aren’t working any longer so the assumption is that we are watching more television than we used to.  As we age we are feeling more of the effects of aging.  That being the case, the pharmaceutical companies are anxious to tell us that there is a pill for that.

2.      Pressure has been placed on researchers and pharmaceutical companies to come up with cures or treatments for conditions that have long plagued us.  That takes lots of money.  Researchers and pharmaceutical companies want to recover the costs of that research and investors want to see a return on their investments.

3.      Closely related to Number 2 is the pressure that has been placed on companies to come up with treatments and cures for lesser-known ailments.  There are marches and protests and 5K and 10K runs to raise money and awareness.  While it is benevolent to come up with these treatments and cures, doing so is also politically correct.  Simply showing the world that these medications exist also shows that the company that came up with the medication is a responsible, caring (money-grabbing) corporation.  It’s all about the PR, folks.

4.      Many of the medications target children and young adults.  Advertising medications that target disorders that this population has, serves as a signal to them (and their parents) that they can have perfect bodies.

5.      It keeps advertising agencies, lawyers, pharmaceutical companies, the television industry, congressmen and senators, lobbyists, doctors, pharmacists, insurance companies, business benefits managers (generally found in human resource departments), wholesalers, retailers, and delivery boys all in business.

And about that list of disorders, diseases, syndromes, conditions, etc., that I mentioned above?  Here’s the full definition of each.  How many did you correctly identify?

FSOPD - Facebook Status Over-Posting Disorder

RLOD - Really Liking Obama Disease

TTDS - Tired of Tolerating Democrats Syndrome

SRAOC - Sick of Republicans Attacking Obama Condition

SIM - Self-Identification Malfunction

WRD - Wrong Restroom Disorder

PVTC - Proper Vote for Trump Condition

SSID - Still in Iraq Disorder

TTSS - Tied to Smartphone Sickness

CTS - Constantly Texting Syndrome

NELMEMM - Nobody Else’s Life Matters Except Mine Malady

LWAC - Late to Work Again Condition

VD - Vegetarian Disorder

CAS - Coffee Addiction Syndrome

DEPOS - Donut-Eating Police Officer Syndrome

TPIARC - The Professor is Always Right Condition

STAMM - Sleep Through Another Meeting Malady

SMA - Social Media Addiction

ITIFADS - I’m a Teenager and Immune from Accidental Death Syndrome

CSD - Common Sense Deficiency

I don’t think there is a pill for any of the above.  Do you suffer from any of these conditions?

I Want a "Do Over"

On occasion when playing a game with my children when they were much younger one would make a costly mistake and ask for a “do over” so as to take back the mistake and have a fresh start.  I suppose it is one of those rewards you get from being young and inexperienced.  Hindsight is such a good teacher.  I’m not sure that we do our children any favors when we let them have a “do over”, but on the other hand I understand that forgiveness is all about having a “do over” with the benefit of hindsight.

I suppose we all wish that we could have a do over now and then.  I’m wishing I could have one of those.  I could probably use a lot of do overs, but there is one fresh in my mind, and I really wish I could take back the thing that I did.

Susan and I were taking our morning walk when we approached a young mother with two small children.  One child was a baby in a stroller and the other was a toddler.  The toddler was having a meltdown and throwing a tantrum.  The mother was trying to deal with it the best she could.  The toddler didn’t want to walk the rest of the way to their car.  Meanwhile, the mother was not only pushing the stroller but carrying the small foot-propelled four-wheel conveyance with a seat and handle bars.  I have never seen one of those things before.  It was an odd looking contraption (a walker of some sort), but the jest of it was the child could sit on it and move himself forward by walking the cart forward.  The conversation went something like this.

Child: I don’t want to walk.

Mother: (Putting the walker down on the path while holding onto the stroller) Then use this.

Child: I don’t want to.

Mother: (Picking up the walker) Then walk.

Child: (Now sitting down and screaming at the top of his lungs) I don’t want to walk.

And so went the conversation or argument and tantrum.

The young mother was clearly frustrated and embarrassed.  She was caught in a public place dealing with an unruly child over which she had no control (who was badly in need of a swat on the rear).  I suspect that by the time she finally got inside her car she had to be in tears.

As we approached the young mother I wanted so much to do something.  In this day you don’t trust strangers who approach and offer to help.  Offering to pick up her child might signal “stranger danger”.  Or, if it didn’t send off alarms offering to help in some way could send the signal that this old man (me) think she’s a failure as a mother.

Instead of doing something or offering kind words of support I said, “You aren’t going to win this one,” as we passed her.  I kept thinking to myself that Susan and I (Susan more so than me) have dealt with temper tantrums and suffered our own meltdowns while raising five children.  We survived the temper tantrums and our children survived the meltdowns.  We did not kill any of our children!  They are alive.  And this young mother will also survive.  Whether or not she has any more children than the two she already has may be up for debate.

Oh, how I wish I had not said what I said to her.  How insensitive could I have been?  In an effort to add levity to a hapless situation I probably made things worse for the young mother.  I want a “do over” so I could relive that moment with that young mother.  At the very least I would assure her that she is a good mother and that it is O.K. and that she is O.K. and that every parent walking that path on that morning has experienced the exact same situation.  I would at the very least give her hope.  I would ask if I could at least carry the little walker.  I’d let her hold onto my billfold with my driver’s license in it and offer to carry her child.

I am so sorry.  I feel terrible and I want a “do over”.

Keeping the Presidential Campaign Civil

I thought the last presidential election campaign was brutal. I sense that this time around the campaigns will be even worse. I believe this election campaign will be a metaphorical blood bath. I want no part of it.

I recall last time all the hurtful, mean-spirited things that were said about both Obama and Romney. Most of you know that I supported Mitt Romney for President. I was appalled at the viscous attacks made against him. I could feel my blood pressure quickly rise as some of my friends on Facebook said Romney belonged in prison and that he was racist, a flip-flopper, and much, much worse.  And while I made negative comments about Obama, most of those comments were in the form of "sharing" anti-Obama memes or "liking" negative comments. I know that my comments were as hurtful to Obama supporters as those supporters' comments were to me of Romney.

It doesn't have to be that way.

I have tried in recent months to not respond to Obama and Clinton supporters’ attacks against Republican candidates, and most recently Donald Trump. I have tried to not write on other friends’ timelines responses to their attacks on Trump and I have tried hard to not write on friends' timelines responses to their support of what they see as virtues of Clinton and Obama.  I've taken the time to search my comments history. I am sorry to say that I have made so many comments in the past years that I did not search as far back as I would like to search. But, from what I was able to search I found that I was true to that effort. I am not saying that it isn't there; I'm just saying that I didn't discover any such comments as far back as I searched.

I suppose what bothers me most is the slanderous hyperbole and rhetoric that was flung around with no concern for the truth. I think what bothers me as well is the non-contextual quotes that make a person look bad. I am especially sensitive to that having been misquoted or quoted out of context by print and broadcast journalists myself.  I think what also concerns me is that we tend to jump to incorrect conclusions based upon one side of a story and without vetting all the facts.

With all this in mind, I am going to attempt something during this presidential election season. I want to make a commitment to it.  I really do.  I just fear that I can't because I, too, get emotionally caught up in the race. But, you can help.  Here is what I am going to attempt to do.

1. Unless you specifically ask me to comment on your support on your timeline for Ms. Clinton and her running mate, I am not going to respond to any accolade you may give her and/or her running mate.
2. I am not going to respond to negative attacks against Donald Trump or a third party candidate that I may support at some future time on your timeline.
3. I am not going to respond to positive memes about Ms. Clinton on your timeline (if you are a Clinton supporter) and (this one is especially difficult) I am not going to respond to negative attacks on your timeline memes against Trump or any candidate I support.
4. I will most likely make supportive comments for Donald Trump or other candidates on my own timeline. Any attack on any candidate I support on my timeline will be deleted. If you are one of my friends who disagrees with my position or comments I make for the candidate of my choice, you are welcome to say that you disagree on your own timeline.  If you have rebuttal comments to make, make them on your own timeline.  I will try and return the courtesy.
5. I reserve the right to "like" comments and memes supportive of candidates that I support.
6. I reserve the right to "like" comments and memes that paint opposing candidates, platforms, etc., in a negative light.
7. I will carefully consider reposting/sharing negative memes or comments about candidates that I cannot support before deciding whether or not to repost or share them; however, I am more interested in factual information rather than rhetoric and hype.  However, I want to make it perfectly clear that I hold Ms. Clinton responsible for the debacle in Benghazi and I believe that her private email server at least violated the spirit of the law if not the law itself.  Further, her claim that she didn’t share classified information on her private server is ludicrous.  If she wasn’t smart enough to know that something should have been classified information when it appeared on her server she isn’t smart enough to be president.
8. I reserve the right to "hide" negative comments or memes about candidates that I support.
9. I will value all factual information about any candidate, whether I support or oppose the candidate.
10. I invite and value civil discourse on the candidates on any person's timeline when conducted in a respectful manner. Name calling is not civil discourse nor is it respectful.

I am going to try. It will be difficult but it will be easier if you will try this approach with me.  I invite you to "LIKE" these comments if you are willing to TRY to do the same.

Save Money. Live Better?

Someone please remind me why one should not get within a mile of a Walmart on a Saturday let alone step inside.  Entry into that zoo on a Saturday is nothing short of an ineffable experience.  Before you accuse me – I had little choice.

I think I spent most of my tour trying to get around an indolent shopper with her two kids sitting, standing, and playing in the aisles.  When it wasn’t her kids it was her, standing her cart in the middle of the right half of an aisle while she planted her rear end in the middle of the other half of the aisle.  My best attempt at a smile and a polite “excuse me” were met with contempt as she pulled a bag of candy from a display and plopped most of it into her mouth.  I made a U-Turn and made my way down an adjacent aisle.

I thought from that point on that my Saturday experience could only get better.  Oh, I was oh s-o-o-o WRONG!  The 275 pound, five-foot, six frame with a hairy beer gut protruding out from under his tank top assaulted both sense and sensibility.  Or, was it scents?  I’m really not sure.  His burley beard melded somehow into his curly chest hair.  To be fair, I am sure he works hard for a living to provide for his four kids who were jumping off the shopping cart onto the cake mix and frosting shelf.  Had it not been for the cart that was fixed to the floor at a 90 degree angle to the aisle, I would have tried to plow through.  I made another U-Turn.

I tried yet another aisle to get to where I wanted to go only to be met by the arrogant “lady” I had encountered before, coming directly toward me.  It was no use.  My only escape from confrontation and rioting was to make yet another U-Turn.  Thinking that since she could no longer be in the first aisle where I met her I tried that one again.  Aha!  Clear sailing!  Alas, I couldn’t find what I was looking for in that aisle.

My blood pressure runs about 117/63.  After 30 minutes of what should have taken no more than 10 minutes I could feel the blood pulsating through the veins in my neck.  So help me, I thought to myself, if I see that “lady” in the red, white, green, yellow, and mostly black skin tight things on her legs I’m going to scream!

I am always cautious when I come to the end of a shopping aisle before entering those primary aisles.  I’ve been banged and collided with too many times.  My angst and blood pressure must have been showing as the nice man (who was clearly having the same experience that I was having) stopped, smiled, motioned me on, and said, “I understand.”

“Bless you!”  Somebody else gets it.

For a short while things began to improve.  Then I hit the check-out lines.  Most were three and four deep.  They were all like that except for beer gut man and Miss/Mrs./Ms. Attitude.  I chose the beer gut man aisle even though it was two-deep as opposed to Ms. Attitude’s one-deep line.

To my amazement Attitude’s line was moving much faster.  She plopped things on the conveyor belt with rapidity.  Beer gut man was still lifting – beer – out of his cart while wrangling his kids away from the candy bar impulse buying shelves.  I took a chance.  First opportunity I got I moved to Attitude’s line.

As it turns out, Ms. Attitude was Princess Attitude.  It wasn’t until she got in line that Queen Attitude showed up on the scene.

I think it was a price check or having to clear something off the register that brought the line to a screeching halt.  Whatever it was, it was enough to get Princess Attitude to move her fat butt away from the conveyor belt so I could put my six or seven items on it.  She literally turned and sneered at me.

It’s O.K.  I’m a man and I can handle this.  I refuse to be intimidated by this “lady” even if it means starting a riot.  She must have read my mind, but it didn’t matter cause her little rug rat started poking his grimy little finger into my bagels.  Calm down.  You’ll be home soon and this nightmare will all be over.  Beer gut man and three other shoppers left before Attitudes’ (yes, that is plural possessive) line began to move.

Just because I don’t drink beer doesn’t mean that others can’t do the same.  No big deal.  And Ms. Attitude had beer in her cart along with various and sundry other things.  It was one of those big boxes of beer.  I don’t know what you call them.  I’m sure they have at least 24 cans of beer in them.  Not my problem.  I don’t care.  At least I didn’t care until she pulled out her Food Stamp card or whatever it is called and then pulled out a wad of twenty-dollar bills to pay for the beer.

I don’t fault people who need assistance for using it.  Times are tough for a lot of people in spite of how good Obama says things are.  But, when she pulled out a stack of twenties thicker than what I’ve ever carried in my life, my heart literally sank.  It had to sink as my blood pressure couldn’t get much higher.  This, I thought to myself, is what gives welfare a bad name.  I don’t know her story and I don’t want to know her story.  People have to eat and they have to feed their kids.  I guess they need their beer, too.

Princess and Queen Attitude waddled off with the crumb snatcher and I moved up to finish my transaction.  The one thing that could have made it all better was to have the cashier simply apologize for the delay.  Or, she could have thanked me for shopping at Walmart or said good afternoon.  She could have even said, “Go pound sand” and I would have been ecstatic.  Nothing.

That is, she said nothing until I tried running my credit card through the reader.  The message in the card reader said “Invalid Card” or something like that.  I knew better.  So, I tried a second card.  And a third card.  I was about to try a fourth card when the cashier who was watching all this with a sense of wicked glee said, “It’s broken.”

I try very hard to not use profanity.  Two words were on the tip of my tongue.  One was profane.  I didn’t say it, but I thought it.  I handed her my card.

The receipt says, “Save money. Live better.”  Maybe that’s true, but not on Saturday at Walmart.

Help Me Shake My Family Tree

I have known for a long time that much of my family history goes back to England.  My Great-grandfather James Homer Ray came from Ireland, but I am unable to find his parents or any of his ancestry.  I have suspected that the Goodman family (my mother’s maiden name) had its origin in Germany, but I cannot prove it.  While doing family history research I’ve discovered that I have a great deal of ancestry from Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Denmark.  In fact, I’ve been able to track some of my Norwegian ancestry to 215 AD, thanks to being able to tie into royalty.  Yes, I have the blood of kings and queens, princes, princesses, dukes, and ditches running through my veins.

The problem is that once you get past the fourth or fifth generation back, that pedigree chart gets kinda messy and while you may be able to find a line that goes back to 215 AD, you also end up with hundreds of lines that go nowhere.

I would like to do something just for fun.  What follows is a list of surnames that are in my family history dating back to the 1700s.  Please take a look at it and see if you have any of the same surnames in your genealogy.  If you find a surname in common it doesn’t necessarily mean that we are related, but it would be fun to see if we are.

 I would ask you to take a look at the list on my blog and let me know if we have any surnames in common.  And, who knows! We might be related. (Gasp!)

Agnarsson

Aldrich

Bagot

Bamforth

Barker

Barnes

Bayeux (895 AD)

Baynton

Berenger

Borrell (1002 – 1077)

Bosco

Bostwick

Burton

Childers

Childress

Clarke

Claxton

Conyers (Esquire of Horndon)

Cooper

Cornwall

d’Aunou (1012 - )

D’Retford

Dagsdsdr (772 – 866 AD – Norway)

Darcy

De Bohun

de Cavalcamp (890 AD)

de Clare

de Flanders (850 AD)

de Grey

de Rolleston

De Segrave

de Vere

Debosco

DePercy

Descales

Donne

Dotson

Eistein

Elsabethe (Lady Elsabethe)

Emerson

Eriksdotter

Estania (970 AD)

Evans

Eysteinsdatter

Eysteinsdoittir

Eysteinsson (845 AD – Norway)

Farmer

Ferree (NY)

Firth

Fitton

FitzAlan

FitzHugh

Fry

Germonde

Goodman

Grey

Halfdansson

Hamilton

Harbottle

Havers

Hawley

Hedworth

Hildebrante

Holland

Holliday

Honeychurch

Howard

Hrolfsdatter (850 – 892)

Huddleston

Hughes

Hutton

Hvibein

Jackson

Kilrington

King

King Eystein Haldanarsson

King Olaf Gunrodsson

Knyvett

Kuykendall

Kymball

Lewis

Lumley

Mangopeesomon (Wales – 1625 – 1720)

Marmion

Meadows

Milde

Miller

Moleyns

More (830 – 890, Norway)

Mowbray

Myers

Nefia

Norris

Olafsson

Patterson

Perkins

Perkins

Pickering

Pollard

Pool

Porter

Pulleyn

Pulliam

Quiney

Quinton

Ragnvaldsdottir

Ramsden

Ratcliffe

Ray

Reynolds

Rice

Rolleston (Lady Ellen, Baroness

Royal

Sammois

Sanders

Seville

Sexton

Sherringham

Sigtrygsson

Sigurdsdottir

Smith

Stafford

Stafford

Stapilton

Steward

Street

Stumpe

Tendring

Thayer

Theaxton

Thornton

Thorpe

Tilney

Toeni (1030 – 1078)

Townsend

Trussell

Vermandois

Vest

Vestfold

Walkelyn

Webster

Wells

Westmare

Whalesborough

Whittel

Wichingham (1290 – England)

Wickenden

Wilkinson

Williams

Woden (215 AD)

Wright

Wrymundsdottir

If I Became President

If I Became President

If I was elected President of the United States one of the first things I would do would be to schedule a retreat with House and Senate leaders of both parties and my Cabinet.  We would identify (1) National Security Issues and (2) Domestic Issues by Priority.

I then would schedule semi-monthly or monthly meetings with House and Senate leaders of both parties.  Meetings would take place alternately at the White House and at a location of their choosing.  The first meetings would focus on working through issues that would seem easy to resolve.  We would then move forward to tougher issues.

Platform and Positions

Abortion

The matter of abortion is settled law.  I believe that abortion matters should be left up to the states.  However, I am personally against abortion except in certain rare cases (which I will discuss below) and I would support challenges to abortion and direct that the Solicitor General to join in those challenges.

I believe that abortion should be permitted in the case of the likelihood that continued pregnancy would endanger the health and life of the mother.  I also would support abortion in the case of incest or rape.

I would continue to support funding for women’s health (clinics) with the exception of abortion, but would permit funding in those instances when the health and life of the mother is endangered or in the case of incest or rape.

I would seek criminal sanction against any person who falsified information to obtain an abortion or to provide an abortion.

Gay Marriage

The matter of gay marriage is settled law.  However, I believe that the issue of gay marriage is a matter that should be left up to the individual states.  States issue marriage licenses, not the federal government.  States should therefore be left to define marriage as they see fit and as determined by the voice of the people.  No court should overrule the voice of the people on the definition of marriage.

States choosing to not solemnize gay marriages should recognize those marriages performed in states that authorize gay marriage.

States choosing to not solemnize gay marriages should provide a legal means of joining domestic partners that will entitle them to the same benefits of male and female married couples, including tax benefits, housing, employment, and so forth.

No person, serving either in a civil position or in a religious ministerial position should be required to perform a gay marriage.

No person, organization, government agency, business, industry, educational institution shall discriminate against a person for holding a position or publicly or privately advocating a position against gay marriage.  No person, organization, government agency, business, industry, educational institution shall discriminate against a person for holding a position or publicly or privately advocating a position in favor of gay marriage.

Enhanced Criminal Penalties

Except in the case of a police officer, fire fighter, emergency medical technician, or other emergency first responder, no enhanced criminal penalties should be given because an action took place as a result of “hate” or because of a victim’s so-called protected class.  Hate is hate.  Crime is crime and it is motivated by any number of factors.

Education

How best to educate our children is best left to states and local communities.  However, certain minimum education standards should be met.  How children get there should be left up to local communities, parents, and educators.  Post-secondary schools should make their expectations for admission and success clearly known and should be the backbone of high school student advising.

Not every student should be expected to continue education at a college or university.  We should put as much emphasis on trade and technical training as we do college education and encourage employers to provide employee improvement for those who seek it who enter employment after high school and with no other formal training or education.

Social Security

Thou shalt not borrow from Social Security funds to fund anything other than the earnings of those who have paid into Social Security.  Thou shalt immediately return borrowed money from Social Security to that fund.  Any questions?  If so, read the first two sentences of this section.

Welfare

The country has an interest in the welfare of its children and those who cannot provide for themselves.  Able bodied recipients of welfare will be required to work according to their education and skill level.  Welfare assistance will be given to those who cannot work, which includes those who are disabled, aged, or otherwise incapacitated or incapable of working.  Those who are capable of working but choose to not work will be denied welfare assistance.  Those who have children and are capable of working but choose to not work will be removed from welfare and the children will be placed under guardianship.  Those capable of working and willing to work but are unable to obtain work will be put to work on public works projects and at the same time be enrolled in accredited training or educational programs that will likely lead to employment.  A condition of receiving welfare and/or being permitted to participate in public works projects is the continuous passing of drug screening tests.

Veterans Affairs

Any veteran honorably discharged from the military is entitled to a healthcare system equal to or better than that of the private citizen.  Veterans will be cared for (housed, fed, employed, educated) before non-veterans, welfare recipients, immigrants, and illegal immigrants.  Other benefits as currently exist shall not be denied, curtailed, or abridged.

Immigration

            Part I

Immigration rates shall be rolled back to 1975 and shall remain there unless and until all illegal immigrations have been resolved.

Legal immigrants shall be admitted based first upon the need of the nation and the skills, knowledge, and abilities of the immigrant applicant, second upon humanitarian concerns, and third, others wishing to immigrate to the United States.  All immigrants must undergo a rigorous background investigation, report to an immigration office on a monthly basis, learn and speak English, and be gainfully employed.

            Part II

Foreign residents and foreign permanent residents who are not applying for citizenship must be gainfully employed to the extent that they can provide for themselves and their family all 12 months of the year.  They must also pay all state, local, and federal taxes that any citizen is required to pay.  They shall have medial insurance either paid by their employer or their own policy or the means to pay for their own medical care.  Their minor children shall be enrolled in school.

So-called “anchor babies” will be entitled to United States citizenship, but will also be considered to have dual citizenship with the primary citizenship in the homeland of their parents.  The citizenship of their parents shall be considered as their primary citizenship.  Nothing in their citizenship status shall entitle their parents to any rights and responsibilities other than what are given them as legal non-citizen residents.

No non-citizen legal resident will hold any public office of any state, local, federal government, school district, and boards and commissions.  No non-citizen legal resident will be entitled to vote or contribute to any person seeking elected office.

            Part III

Illegal immigrants who have continuously been in the United States for seven years and (1) are gainfully employed, (2) never been convicted of a felony, misdemeanor involving moral turpitude, or DWI, (3) and are sponsored by three natural born United States citizens of good report, and (4) provide proof of paying taxes for at least five of the past seven years, shall report to any border crossing within 365 days and apply for admission to the United States for either citizenship or legal residence.  Those who have not paid taxes or cannot prove that they have paid taxes shall enter into an agreement to pay back-taxes as a condition of citizenship or legal residency.

Any illegal immigrant who has served in any branch of the Armed Forces of the United States and has been honorably discharged from the military may immediately apply for citizenship of the United States.

Illegal immigrants who have been in the United States for six years and 364 days or less but more than one year shall report to the nearest border crossing and return to his or her country of origin.  Upon the person’s return to the country of origin, that person may apply for citizenship or legal residency, which shall be granted upon meeting the conditions outlined for illegal immigrants who have been in the United States for seven years or more.

Illegal immigrants who have been in the United States for 364 days or less at the time of the enactment of this provision shall be deported.

            Part IV

Temporary work visas should be made available to those seeking employment in the United States in locations and fields of employment that are difficult to fill by residents.

Second Amendment

The right of the people to own, possess, and bear arms shall not be infringed.  There shall be no restrictions on the ownership and possession of revolver and semi-automatic handguns, rifles, shotguns, and rifles except for those convicted of felonies and domestic violence. 

Military

As president I will rely upon the advice of senior military officers from all five branches of the military to determine strength to protect the interests of the United States worldwide.

Science and Technology

I would increase funding to NASA and get us to the moon again as a preparatory step for getting us to Mars.  It isn’t that getting to Mars is important as it is the technological advances that would come as a result of overcoming the obstacles to get there.

Foreign Policy

I will not apologize for the actions of the United States in protecting its people and its interests around the world.  I will not apologize to the world for United States Citizens exercising their First Amendment Rights.

Foreign Aid, if given will go first to those nations with a proven track record of friendly status with the United States.

Humanitarian Aid will be given first to African nations.  The Government will not stand in the way of churches and non-profit organizations in sending humanitarian relief to nations friendly to the United States.  Humanitarian Aid will be given first to sustain life but with the primary focus on nations receiving humanitarian aid to become self-reliant.  The United States will provide oversight of aid distribution.

We will hunt down and destroy any terrorist organization that threatens the United States or its NATO allies.

The United States will sit on the world stage and make its presence known.  While benevolence will be a watchword for the United States, we will not be bullied.

The United States will pay its fair share for membership in the United Nations.  It will not cover the costs of non-paying nations.  The United States will not agree to any action by the United Nations that infringes on Constitutional, human, and natural rights of its citizens.  The United States will use its veto power to block any action that is contrary to its interests. 

When the majority of the citizens of the United States votes to resign its seat in the United Nations, the United States will affect such withdrawal.  The building, property, and all offices associated with the United Nations will be seized and become property of the United States government.

Executive Orders

Executive Orders will be issued for the purpose of delivering services consistent with good business practices and not with the intent of subverting Congress and meeting some political goal.

States Rights and Rights of the People

As President I will work with the House of Representatives and the Senate to return as many rights to the states and the people as is consistent with the Ninth and Tenth Amendments to the Constitution.

Searching the Scriptures

Searching the Scriptures

            A bright and successful missionary attended a Book of Mormon class that I had been teaching for new members and people that missionaries had been teaching.  It was obvious to me that the missionary was well-versed in the Book of Mormon as well as all the scriptures and had a strong testimony of the gospel.  As I taught the class I frequently referred to what I call red flags in the Book of Mormon that shout out to the reader to pay attention to what follows.

            The missionary approached me after the class and thanked me for teaching her how to study the Book of Mormon.  “I’ve been a member of the Church all my life and have read the Book of Mormon several times,” she confided.  “But, no one ever taught me how to study it.”

            I was taken aback by her comment especially since she was so obviously well-versed in the scriptures, had attended four years of seminary, and was now only weeks away from finishing her full-time mission.  How was it possible, I wondered, that a person with such great understanding and fervent testimony never learned how to study the Book of Mormon?  It finally occurred to me that she had been taught all the scriptures and all the doctrine since her years in Primary, in her home, in Young Women’s, and in Seminary.  It was through her dutiful study she had all those marvelous teachings confirmed in her heart by the Spirit, but she never had the experience of discovering many of the marvelous truths on her own.

            Teachers and leaders tell us what to study (the scriptures and words of living prophets) and provide us with valuable insights.  There are so many guides available to us ranging from the Topical Guide, indices, and The Bible Dictionary to commentaries of all the Standard Works and online resources.  Using those resources allows us to make in-depth study of topics in the scriptures and provide us with practical application to the doctrines that learn.  Our understanding of the scriptures can experience tremendous growth as we rely upon these inspired resources.

            Then of course there is the measure of comfort that comes from simply reading the scriptures and the light we allow into our lives by reading and pondering upon this Holy Writ.  The scriptures provide direct answers to daily problems and by opening the conduit between heaven and earth so we may receive inspiration from the Holy Ghost.  We must never underestimate the power of the scriptures in our lives.

            There are, however, other tools and means by which we can discover wonderful gospel doctrine and gain a deeper understanding of the hidden truths within the pages of the Standard Works.

            In the earlier parts of my career as a police patrol officer and later as a detective I often found myself in the process of searching motor vehicles for contraband, illegal weapons, and other evidence of crime.  I learned how to search vehicles at the police academy.  But, it was through experience that I learned where it would be within the search that I could find evidence that I was looking for.  These were places in cars where I paid extra attention because I knew that these signal locations were most likely to yield the evidence I sought.  These signal locations were generally under arm rests, inside consoles, in glove boxes, above sun visors, under floor mats, under seats, and quite often in closed containers such as film canisters, bags, or purses.  These areas were my red flags and signaled to me that there would be a higher probability I would find what I was looking for than anywhere else in the car.  Also, it did not take me long to recognize the odor of freshly cut or recently smoked marijuana from a stopped car even when I sat in my own patrol car.  Being able to “smell it out” and knowing where to look within the confines of an automobile led to several contraband seizures.

            As I have searched the Book of Mormon I have come to recognize signal locations or red flag areas that point to evidence of doctrine to follow.  Instead of arm rests, under car seats, or in consoles, the red flags in the scriptures are specific words and phrases.  Among them are phrases that include and thus we see, and inasmuch, and if…then statements.  One such example is in King Benjamin’s sermon on service.  “Behold, ye have called me your king; and if I, whom ye call your king, do labor to serve you, then ought not ye to labor to serve one another?” (Mosiah 2:18).

“Often, the if…then statements are implied or may only include the word if.  Another important red flag is the word when, which occurs over 2100 times in the scriptures and frequently points to an important doctrine.  Moroni uses both if and when  to signal and important lesson. “And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, (then) he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things” (Moroni 10:4 - 5).

            Everyone understands that when you see the word remember in the Book of Mormon that it signals us that an important doctrinal message is to follow.  One such example can be found in Second Nephi.  “O, my beloved brethren, remember the awfulness in transgressing against that Holy God, and also the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of that cunning one.  Remember, to be carnally–minded is death, and to be spiritually–minded is life eternal” (2 Nephi 9:39).

            Frequently we see the repetition of a word in a verse or within a few verses in a chapter or two.  King Benjamin in telling us the importance of remaining “steadfast and immovable” (Mosiah 5: 15) uses the word name no less than a dozen times before he tells us to be steadfast and immovable.  In those verses we learn that we need to have faith on His name, that there is no other name by which salvation may be obtained, and that we should always have His name written in our hearts.  We also learn that the name is Christ (Mosiah 5: 7 – 14).

            Another example of the repetition of a word can be found in Third Nephi.  The word pray or prayed is used nearly 40 times from 3 Nephi 18: 15 through 3 Nephi 19: 36.  In those verses He tells us to pray to avoid temptation, to pray in our families, to pray for those who don’t attend our meetings, to pray for the world, to pray without ceasing, and to pray to the Father and then minister to those we pray for.

            Sometimes an important word does not appear several times within a verse or within a chapter, but may appear several times throughout the scriptures as if to punctuate a principle.  The word flattery appears several times throughout the Book of Mormon and describes the means by which followers of Satan attempt to lead the faithful away.  Sherem, who denied the existence of Christ, used flattery to shake the faith of believers (Jacob 7: 4 – 5).  Alma, before his conversion used flattery to lead people away (Mosiah 27: 8).  Korihor, the antichrist used flattering words to bring souls to destruction (Alma 30: 47).  Amalickiah used flattering words to get members of the church dissent (Alma 46: 7, 10).  Clearly, the message here is that we need to recognize flattery when we hear it and distance ourselves from temptation that may follow.

Other important signs are the inclusions of lists of actions, attributes, behaviors, and events.  Two such lists are in Amulek’s discourse found in Alma.  Amulek teaches about prayer and says that we must (1) “cry unto him”, (2) humble ourselves, (3) pray in our fields and flocks, (4) pray in our houses, (5) pray for our households, (6) pray morning, noon, and night, (7) pray against the power of our enemies, (8) pray against the devil, (9) pray in secret, (10) pray in our hearts, and (11) pray continually for our welfare and the welfare of those around us (Alma 34: 18 – 27).  Amulek provides another list in Alma 34: 37 – 41.

Important gospel truths frequently follow the word except.  This word occurs over 100 times in the Book of Mormon.  For sure, not every except in the Book of Mormon precedes an important message, but when seen it is worth sniffing out.  As examples, consider “For behold, except ye shall keep the commandments of God ye shall all likewise perish…” (2 Nephi 30:1), “Now ye see that this is the true faith of God; yea, ye see that God will support, and keep, and preserve us, so long as we are faithful unto him, and unto our faith, and our religion; and never will the Lord suffer that we shall be destroyed except we should fall into transgression and deny our faith” (Alma 44:4), or “And it came to pass that in the days of Ethem there came many prophets, and prophesied again unto the people; yea, they did prophesy that the Lord would utterly destroy them from off the face of the earth except they repented of their iniquities” (Ether 11:12).  The message of except ye or they repent occurs four times in the eleventh chapter of Ether alone!

And thus we see appears over a dozen times in the Book of Mormon and generally occurs at the conclusion of a story line or event.  When this phrase appears it often signals an important lesson that we should learn from the story.  “And thus we see that by small means the Lord can bring about great things” (1 Nephi 16:29), “And thus we see the end of him who perverteth the ways of the Lord; and thus we see that the devil will not support his children at the last day, but doth speedily drag them down to hell” (Alma 30:60), or “And thus we see that except the Lord doth chasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with death and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not remember him” (Helaman 12:3).  Note also the inclusion of the word except  in Helaman 12: 3.

Not every except, and thus we see, if…then, or when signals and important doctrine.  Not every list of events or actions or every because, but behold, I know, and inasmuch, wherefore, therefore, and if it so be will have a message that will resonate with you.  But, by ignoring these red flags we risk missing important gospel principles.  And when one considers the fact that Mormon was dealing with limited space to make his abridgement he probably carefully chose every word that he inscribed on the plates.

As you continue to study the scriptures you will find other red flags or signals of important gospel doctrines to follow.  The list provided here is by no means complete nor is it the only means of coming to discover gospel principles.  However, these signal clues or red flags that pop up in the course of your search of the scriptures coupled with sincere prayer and using other study resources such as the Topical Guide, LDS Hymns, the teachings of latter-day prophets and apostles, and General Conference talks can help in the discovery of important doctrines within the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon.