There's a Pill for That

There's a Pill for That

Drug Advertising

It has gotten to the point that a person needs to have some sort of medical degree when watching television advertisements.  Perhaps it is just my age that is showing, but it seems like television advertising these days is aimed at healing whatever it is that we are suffering from or creating new ailments that require the administration of a new drug that some pharmaceutical company has stumbled upon.

I have been keeping track for the last several days of all the ailments that are floating around out there.  Most have been reduced to alphabet soup.  Likewise, a few of the treatments follow the Campbell’s Soup pattern.  I’m not sure, but I think the practice of reducing illnesses to soup began with Tuberculosis (TB), Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and Muscular Dystrophy (MD).  I’m fairly sure that MD and MS were the kingpins of lettered diseases until ADD and later ADHD became popular.  I blame ADD and ADHD for opening the floodgates.

Consider the following medical conditions that I’ve seen on television in the last few weeks:  OIC, COPD, IBS, IBS-C, IBS-D, RA, OB, ED, PTSD, PML, BED, ALS, DVT, PE, TBI, CC, UC, ALTE, CTE, OAB (I’m not sure, but I think it is the same thing as OB, but I really thought an OB was some kind of doctor), UTI (I learned about UTI’s several years ago), AMD, and BPH. 

I recently learned of two new ones just today.  IED is “Intermittent Explosive Disorder” and SID or SAD (SIAD), which is a condition for women (thank goodness) and is short for “Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder”.  I am especially interested in IED, which is not to be confused with the IED we have all come to hate in the ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  But hey, they could be related!  I go off without warning when somebody cuts me off in traffic, which meets the medical IED definition and the military definition of an Improvised Explosive Device.  Hmmm.  I guess I must be and IED or have IED.  It doesn’t much matter because there is now a pill for that.  My guess is that most everybody reading this is in need of that pill.

The alphabet game is not just about letters as sometimes those letters are combined with words, partial words, and numbers.  The alphanumeric medical condition that caught my attention is Non-24, while there is a device out there that is called an IVC Filter.  I’m not sure, but I don’t think I want to know what an IVC Filter is.

It isn’t just about the alphabet, though I think there are certain letters that have been seriously underrepresented in the above list.  I mean, I don’t see anything with a Q or W or F or Z or a few other missing letters.  There are contrived words such as Ace Inhibitors and Beta Blockers and methotrexate.  I can at least pronounce those words.  There are other medication names that require your tongue to be a contortionist.  For example, there is a whole list of NSAIDS (Oh, there’s another example of what I’m talking about.  I think this one was created specifically to be an acronym.)  Anyway, consider this list of NSAIDS and see exactly how many of them you can pronounce without slowing down to sound out each syllable.

Aspirin (acetylsalicylic acid), Celecoxib (Celebrex), Dexdetoprofen (Keral), Diclofenac (Voltaren, Cataflam, Voltaren-XR), Diflunisal (Dolobid). Etodolac (Lodine, Lodine XL), Etoricoxib (Algix), Fenoprofen (Fenopron, Nalfron), Firocoxib (Equioxx, Previcox), Flurbiprofen (Urbifen, Ansaid, Flurwood, Froben), Ibuprofen (Advil, Brufen, Motrin, Nurofen, Medipren, Nuprin), Indomethacin (Indocin, Indocin SR, Indocin IV), Ketoprofen (Actron, Orudis, Oruvail, Ketoflam), Ketorolac (Toradol, Sprix, Toradol IV/IM, Toradol IM), Licofelone (under development), Lornoxicam (Xefo), Loxoprofen (Loxonin, Loxomac, Oxeno), Lumiracoxib (Prexige), Meclofenamic acid (Meclomen), Mefenamic acid (Ponstel), Meloxicam (Movalis, Melox, Recoxa, Mobic), Nabumetone (Relafen), Naproxen (Aleve, Anaprox, Midol Extended Relief, Naprosyn, Naprelan), Nimesulide (Sulide, Nimalox, Mesulid), Oxaporozin (Daypro, Dayrun, Duraprox), Parecoxib (Dynastat), Piroxicam (Feldene), Rofecoxib (Vioxx, Ceoxx, Ceeoxx), Salsalate (Mono-Gesic, Salflex, Disalcid, Salsitab), Sulindac (Clinoril), Tenoxicam (Mobiflex), Tolfenamic acid (Clotam Rapid, Tufnil), Valdecoxib (Bextra)

(http://www.nsaids-list.com/)

What I find interesting is some of the ingredients in these drugs that the pharmaceutical companies are pushing.  I swear, one company tells us that they put Ford Motor Oil in their drug.  I suppose they want to keep you well lubricated. 

Then of course there are the warnings that accompany the drug advertisements.  There are the written drug warnings that require an IMAX screen for you to be able to read them.  These require a medical dictionary to help you understand what you are reading.  The other drug warnings are spoken and take up so much time in spelling out the possible side effects that by the time they have finished telling what you might contract if  you take their drug that you have forgotten what the drug is or what it is for, like an inhaled corticosteroid (repeated several times throughout the advertisement).  Take for example the warnings that accompany the use of Ford Motor Oil.  (In case you are wondering, Ford Motor Oil is a long-acting beta-agonist.  It is “rarely” associated with an increased risk of asthma-related death.)  You should not use Ford Motor Oil if you are allergic to any ingredient in formoterol if

• you are using another medicine that has a long-acting beta-agonist (eg, salmeterol) in it
• you are having an asthma attack or sudden symptoms of COPD (eg, chest tightness, cough, shortness of breath, wheezing)
• you have asthma and you are not currently using a long-term asthma-control medicine (eg, inhaled corticosteroids)
• you have asthma that is already well controlled with the use of a long-term asthma-control medicine

• if you are pregnant, planning to become pregnant, or are breast-feeding
• if you are taking any prescription or nonprescription medicine, herbal preparation, or dietary supplement
• if you have allergies to medicines, foods, or other substances
• if you have had a severe allergic reaction to milk protein or are lactose intolerant
• if you have a history of diabetes, heart problems (eg, fast or irregular heartbeat), blood vessel problems, high blood pressure, low blood potassium levels, an adrenal gland tumor (pheochromocytoma), seizures, or thyroid problems
• if you have recently been to the emergency room for asthma, have a history of frequent hospitalizations for asthma, or have ever had a life-threatening asthma attack
• if you have had an unusual reaction to a sympathomimetic medicine (eg, albuterol, pseudoephedrine), such as fast or irregular heartbeat, overexcitement, or severe trouble sleeping
• if you are taking linezolid, a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) [Oops! There’s another one.] (eg, phenelzine), or a tricyclic antidepressant (eg, amitriptyline) or you have taken any of these medicines within the last 14 days
• if you are taking any medicine that may increase the risk of a certain type of irregular heartbeat (prolonged QT interval). Check with your doctor or pharmacist if you are unsure if any of your medicines may increase the risk of this type of irregular heartbeat.

(http://www.drugs.com/cdi/formoterol.html)

Really?  I mean, who comes up with this stuff?

The point is that the warnings have gotten completely out of control and have probably been included by pharmaceutical company attorneys to keep law suits to a minimum.  I wish the industry would come to agreement on a standard warning and disclaimer.  If I wrote such a warning it would look like this.

Don’t take this drug.

I suspect that warning would never fly with the pharmaceutical companies.  Therefore a more acceptable warning might look something like this.

You should not use this drug if you are pregnant, plan to become pregnant, ever have been pregnant, know somebody who is, has been, or will become pregnant.  Do not use this drug with alcohol or any illicit drug and if you are taking another prescription drug talk to your doctor before, during, and after taking each dose.  This drug may cause you to sleep, sleepwalk, sleep talk, stay awake, talk in tongues, hallucinate, radiate, irritate, and ingratiate.  Do not drive, operate machinery, sit at a desk, write memos, or engage in any type of negotiations with foreign diplomats while using this drug.  Should you have an erection lasting more than four hours the manufacturer of this medication feels sorry for you, but you really should see a doctor as soon as possible.  Discontinue use of an inhaled corticosteroid while using this drug until your condition has stabilized.  Your doctor will then prescribe an inhaled corticosteroid for daily use.  You may feel irritated and agitated while taking this medication.  In that case those around you also will feel irritated and agitated with you.  Serious side effects may accompany the use of this drug such as depression, thoughts of suicide, or hang-gliding.  Do not discontinue using this drug without first consulting with your doctor, healthcare provider, your pharmacist, spouse, significant other, your insurance company, and the President of the United States.  If you should pass out, faint, or die as a result of using this drug, contact your physician immediately.

What?  If you should die while using this drug you are to contact your physician immediately?  You are kidding me, right?  Well, no, I’m not.  That wording is actually included in a drug advertisement warning.  And, I think I can understand why.  I mean, if you die from using a prescribed medication and you are alive (again) your doctor is going to want to know about it so he or she can pay off all that medical school debt.  I would think that it would make for a strong defense at trial when the patient decides to sue the doctor.  It would go something like this: “It’s ALIVE!!”

So, with all these disorders and diseases out there I’ve decided to come up with a few of my own.  See if you can figure out what they are.  Note: I’ve placed the full definitions of each disorder at the bottom of this tirade. 

·         FSOPD

·         RLOD

·         TTDS

·         SRAOC

·         SIM

·         WRD

·         PVTC

·         SIID

·         TTSS

·         CTS

·         NELMEMM (Nel-mem)

·         LWAC

·         VD (It isn’t what you think)

·         CAS

·         DEPOS

·         TPIARC (Tippy Arc)

·         STAMM

·         SMA

·         ITIFADS (It I Fads)

·         CSD

I invite you to see how many of these you get correct.  I also invite you to see if you might have any of these maladies.

I suppose there are multiple reasons for all these diseases, disorders, and syndromes that we see being advertised.  You can probably come up with a few that I haven’t thought of.  If so, you are welcome to comment either here or on Facebook.  Here are some of the reasons that I’ve come up with.

1.      We have an aging Baby Boomer population and we (I’m one of them) are a lucrative target.  We aren’t working any longer so the assumption is that we are watching more television than we used to.  As we age we are feeling more of the effects of aging.  That being the case, the pharmaceutical companies are anxious to tell us that there is a pill for that.

2.      Pressure has been placed on researchers and pharmaceutical companies to come up with cures or treatments for conditions that have long plagued us.  That takes lots of money.  Researchers and pharmaceutical companies want to recover the costs of that research and investors want to see a return on their investments.

3.      Closely related to Number 2 is the pressure that has been placed on companies to come up with treatments and cures for lesser-known ailments.  There are marches and protests and 5K and 10K runs to raise money and awareness.  While it is benevolent to come up with these treatments and cures, doing so is also politically correct.  Simply showing the world that these medications exist also shows that the company that came up with the medication is a responsible, caring (money-grabbing) corporation.  It’s all about the PR, folks.

4.      Many of the medications target children and young adults.  Advertising medications that target disorders that this population has, serves as a signal to them (and their parents) that they can have perfect bodies.

5.      It keeps advertising agencies, lawyers, pharmaceutical companies, the television industry, congressmen and senators, lobbyists, doctors, pharmacists, insurance companies, business benefits managers (generally found in human resource departments), wholesalers, retailers, and delivery boys all in business.

And about that list of disorders, diseases, syndromes, conditions, etc., that I mentioned above?  Here’s the full definition of each.  How many did you correctly identify?

FSOPD - Facebook Status Over-Posting Disorder

RLOD - Really Liking Obama Disease

TTDS - Tired of Tolerating Democrats Syndrome

SRAOC - Sick of Republicans Attacking Obama Condition

SIM - Self-Identification Malfunction

WRD - Wrong Restroom Disorder

PVTC - Proper Vote for Trump Condition

SSID - Still in Iraq Disorder

TTSS - Tied to Smartphone Sickness

CTS - Constantly Texting Syndrome

NELMEMM - Nobody Else’s Life Matters Except Mine Malady

LWAC - Late to Work Again Condition

VD - Vegetarian Disorder

CAS - Coffee Addiction Syndrome

DEPOS - Donut-Eating Police Officer Syndrome

TPIARC - The Professor is Always Right Condition

STAMM - Sleep Through Another Meeting Malady

SMA - Social Media Addiction

ITIFADS - I’m a Teenager and Immune from Accidental Death Syndrome

CSD - Common Sense Deficiency

I don’t think there is a pill for any of the above.  Do you suffer from any of these conditions?

I Want a "Do Over"

On occasion when playing a game with my children when they were much younger one would make a costly mistake and ask for a “do over” so as to take back the mistake and have a fresh start.  I suppose it is one of those rewards you get from being young and inexperienced.  Hindsight is such a good teacher.  I’m not sure that we do our children any favors when we let them have a “do over”, but on the other hand I understand that forgiveness is all about having a “do over” with the benefit of hindsight.

I suppose we all wish that we could have a do over now and then.  I’m wishing I could have one of those.  I could probably use a lot of do overs, but there is one fresh in my mind, and I really wish I could take back the thing that I did.

Susan and I were taking our morning walk when we approached a young mother with two small children.  One child was a baby in a stroller and the other was a toddler.  The toddler was having a meltdown and throwing a tantrum.  The mother was trying to deal with it the best she could.  The toddler didn’t want to walk the rest of the way to their car.  Meanwhile, the mother was not only pushing the stroller but carrying the small foot-propelled four-wheel conveyance with a seat and handle bars.  I have never seen one of those things before.  It was an odd looking contraption (a walker of some sort), but the jest of it was the child could sit on it and move himself forward by walking the cart forward.  The conversation went something like this.

Child: I don’t want to walk.

Mother: (Putting the walker down on the path while holding onto the stroller) Then use this.

Child: I don’t want to.

Mother: (Picking up the walker) Then walk.

Child: (Now sitting down and screaming at the top of his lungs) I don’t want to walk.

And so went the conversation or argument and tantrum.

The young mother was clearly frustrated and embarrassed.  She was caught in a public place dealing with an unruly child over which she had no control (who was badly in need of a swat on the rear).  I suspect that by the time she finally got inside her car she had to be in tears.

As we approached the young mother I wanted so much to do something.  In this day you don’t trust strangers who approach and offer to help.  Offering to pick up her child might signal “stranger danger”.  Or, if it didn’t send off alarms offering to help in some way could send the signal that this old man (me) think she’s a failure as a mother.

Instead of doing something or offering kind words of support I said, “You aren’t going to win this one,” as we passed her.  I kept thinking to myself that Susan and I (Susan more so than me) have dealt with temper tantrums and suffered our own meltdowns while raising five children.  We survived the temper tantrums and our children survived the meltdowns.  We did not kill any of our children!  They are alive.  And this young mother will also survive.  Whether or not she has any more children than the two she already has may be up for debate.

Oh, how I wish I had not said what I said to her.  How insensitive could I have been?  In an effort to add levity to a hapless situation I probably made things worse for the young mother.  I want a “do over” so I could relive that moment with that young mother.  At the very least I would assure her that she is a good mother and that it is O.K. and that she is O.K. and that every parent walking that path on that morning has experienced the exact same situation.  I would at the very least give her hope.  I would ask if I could at least carry the little walker.  I’d let her hold onto my billfold with my driver’s license in it and offer to carry her child.

I am so sorry.  I feel terrible and I want a “do over”.

Keeping the Presidential Campaign Civil

I thought the last presidential election campaign was brutal. I sense that this time around the campaigns will be even worse. I believe this election campaign will be a metaphorical blood bath. I want no part of it.

I recall last time all the hurtful, mean-spirited things that were said about both Obama and Romney. Most of you know that I supported Mitt Romney for President. I was appalled at the viscous attacks made against him. I could feel my blood pressure quickly rise as some of my friends on Facebook said Romney belonged in prison and that he was racist, a flip-flopper, and much, much worse.  And while I made negative comments about Obama, most of those comments were in the form of "sharing" anti-Obama memes or "liking" negative comments. I know that my comments were as hurtful to Obama supporters as those supporters' comments were to me of Romney.

It doesn't have to be that way.

I have tried in recent months to not respond to Obama and Clinton supporters’ attacks against Republican candidates, and most recently Donald Trump. I have tried to not write on other friends’ timelines responses to their attacks on Trump and I have tried hard to not write on friends' timelines responses to their support of what they see as virtues of Clinton and Obama.  I've taken the time to search my comments history. I am sorry to say that I have made so many comments in the past years that I did not search as far back as I would like to search. But, from what I was able to search I found that I was true to that effort. I am not saying that it isn't there; I'm just saying that I didn't discover any such comments as far back as I searched.

I suppose what bothers me most is the slanderous hyperbole and rhetoric that was flung around with no concern for the truth. I think what bothers me as well is the non-contextual quotes that make a person look bad. I am especially sensitive to that having been misquoted or quoted out of context by print and broadcast journalists myself.  I think what also concerns me is that we tend to jump to incorrect conclusions based upon one side of a story and without vetting all the facts.

With all this in mind, I am going to attempt something during this presidential election season. I want to make a commitment to it.  I really do.  I just fear that I can't because I, too, get emotionally caught up in the race. But, you can help.  Here is what I am going to attempt to do.

1. Unless you specifically ask me to comment on your support on your timeline for Ms. Clinton and her running mate, I am not going to respond to any accolade you may give her and/or her running mate.
2. I am not going to respond to negative attacks against Donald Trump or a third party candidate that I may support at some future time on your timeline.
3. I am not going to respond to positive memes about Ms. Clinton on your timeline (if you are a Clinton supporter) and (this one is especially difficult) I am not going to respond to negative attacks on your timeline memes against Trump or any candidate I support.
4. I will most likely make supportive comments for Donald Trump or other candidates on my own timeline. Any attack on any candidate I support on my timeline will be deleted. If you are one of my friends who disagrees with my position or comments I make for the candidate of my choice, you are welcome to say that you disagree on your own timeline.  If you have rebuttal comments to make, make them on your own timeline.  I will try and return the courtesy.
5. I reserve the right to "like" comments and memes supportive of candidates that I support.
6. I reserve the right to "like" comments and memes that paint opposing candidates, platforms, etc., in a negative light.
7. I will carefully consider reposting/sharing negative memes or comments about candidates that I cannot support before deciding whether or not to repost or share them; however, I am more interested in factual information rather than rhetoric and hype.  However, I want to make it perfectly clear that I hold Ms. Clinton responsible for the debacle in Benghazi and I believe that her private email server at least violated the spirit of the law if not the law itself.  Further, her claim that she didn’t share classified information on her private server is ludicrous.  If she wasn’t smart enough to know that something should have been classified information when it appeared on her server she isn’t smart enough to be president.
8. I reserve the right to "hide" negative comments or memes about candidates that I support.
9. I will value all factual information about any candidate, whether I support or oppose the candidate.
10. I invite and value civil discourse on the candidates on any person's timeline when conducted in a respectful manner. Name calling is not civil discourse nor is it respectful.

I am going to try. It will be difficult but it will be easier if you will try this approach with me.  I invite you to "LIKE" these comments if you are willing to TRY to do the same.